we both know yet why are we still hiding? i know it's tough and we will rather forget about this whole shit. but can we really forget? because someone clashes in between, the whole thing turned out shit. what should i label that someone? saving me or getting me into fucks? what the use of explaining when things are done? it's just a little steps more and there it will be, my sweet temptation. am i happy? am i sad? am i affected? am i confused? YES YES YES! do i have a choice? NO!

back to confusion.

Tenacious D is hilarious though. but wasn't to the extend where you kept laughing uncontrollably. loads of ridiculous or rather stupid scene i should say. i do enjoy through the whole movie cos the seat was couple seat and i can leave my leg and sit in any poistion i like. i told BUD to sit on the other couple seat so that we both will have a HUGE seat! it's just so cool for someone to serve you food in the cinema.





this is buddy watch! =)


















time for some motivation peeps. slimming centre? NONO. it's motivation. check it out peeps! bao long will be your motivator for life!















see the differences in one year?

i know i can't escape from surgery this time. well-prepared i should say.

i'm sick so darn sick yet so darn hyper-active today. people around me were like saying "are you sure you are sick" and stuffs along. even my family doctor was asking me the same question. he believed only when he touched my neck. just some unknown reasons for me to be so high today. maybe it's becos the clinic has DOC. HWANG today? you see, i'm his hard core fan. =)

i'm sick alright! real sick!

cool guys are attractive. cute guys are attractive. handsome guys are attractive. beach boys are attractive. secretive guys are attractive. humorous guys are attractive. calm guys are attractive. sweet guys are attractive. smart guys are attractive. generous guys are attractive. gentleman are attractive. caring guys are attractive. macho guys are attractive.

i like cool guys.

if only both were combined.

JAMIE'S-PEPPER LUNCH!





















TA-DAH!



















see, she's happy okay!




















this is making a wish!






































*opps!

I'M SO DAMN BROKE! pathetic sum of money to be spent. so sad.


it was norman's birthday yesterday. no clubbing. we had k session at shenton way AGAIN! so sad la. no one came to fetch me. told norman to come fetch me. but don't know he not free to dig ear or what. he listened to "i take cab go." how nice man! okays, taking cab alone at night is so damn scary. i can't even see that malay driver face. i'm so afraid he might kidnap me which is a whole crap of nonsense. but i'm still so F-ing scared.

*big wide smile* SO, we sang and sang till very early morning. that means go home. go home means getting a transport. getting a transport means i need a transport to get home, which means NORMAN SENT ME HOME. norman sending me home which means I GET TO RIDE ON HIS BIKE! gees man! it's like month since his bike last saw me. the weather was damn cold and i'm shivering throughout the journey. trembling legs all the way home. nevertheless, the feeling is still so fun. so less vehicles, so peace. just so cool.




















the birthday pig!



















preparing....



















23 small candle to be blown.





















he called this pathetic action as "making a wish!"

























today is JAMIE'S. the whole gang gave her surprise! celebrated at pepper lunch. and she is just so happy. check out her face in the photos. basically, the photos tell it all. oh yeah! we went to take neoprint. so cute. LMAO.


i love BUSINESS LAW. sucha great subject! everything is just so cool about BL. PMPM is just shit.
DO YOU KNOW.......
doing nothing in singspore is considered as a crime?
guys having long hairs are breaking the law?

blah blah blah. is it just so cool about LAW?

I'M SO DEAD NOW! i'll be having project after school tomorrow. planned everything and i realised that norman's birthday is tomorrow and not friday! i kept thinking that it's friday. damn! i even told him to meet me tomorrow. LOL! asked him to wait for me outside my school which is totally nonsense. so sad! how now man! project is important but norman's birthday is kinda important too. cos i asked him to go out and i can't make it. how man? what should i do now? argh! i can't lie to someone who is going to have his birthday tomorrow. i can't leave my project alone. i won't have time already! how how how? argh! this is shit!

argh! i'm so so damn sad now! f-ing shit man!

from 3% to 5% and soon, it will be 7%. how nice? they said it benefits the poor. but which part of it benefit the poor? increasing the GST mean price of everything will increase. where the hell will the poor get the money? why salaries never increase by 7% too? i know, other countries GST is like more than 10% but they are sucha huge country. can't be compare to us. way way different. kinda unfair though. so sad la. can't always got restaurants to please myself. lesser k session! sigh! my psycho niffer go ktv already. actually, increasing GST is almost what most singaporeans will expect. it's became a trend. every 5 years once. kinda metally prepared but just so annoyed. it's like where to get the money. lesser things to purchase and to pamper ourselves. JUST SO SAD la.


saw KELVIN today! so excited la. the last time i saw him was like around last year's christmas. i'm happy to see him but kinda sad too. after a year, his eye have not recover a single bit. he told me that if the condition worsen, BLINDNESS. sigh. stupid TTSH! don't even inform people about their appointment and stuffs. fuck! i really hope he will recover somehow.

i got a job and now, i found another one. so, 2 jobs. 1 is confirm, another pending. should i or should not get the second one? the second one will be at choc. how man! should i? what if i got no time? what if the time clash? sigh! i only wanna work friday, sat and sun. what if clash with my first work? argh! when i wanna find a job, none came. when i found one, ALL COME!

firstly, marketing is shit.
secondly, my lecturer is a freak.
thridly, he looks funny.
forthly, he tells real cold jokes.
fifthly, he's not interesting at all..
sixly, he's very good in shooting people.
seventhly, i think he's a psychotic.
eightly, my textbook is HUGE!
ninthly, he talks and behave like a girl.
tenthly, i just so fucking dislike him! =)

bascially, he tells nonsense. he's fat and round. funny looking hairstyle. another clown on earth. whatever it is, he just look like a freak. can imagine right?

I GOT MY PHONE BACK! was so excited when i got my phone back. but some things were GONE and d still come irritate me. kns. i had THE WORLD HARDEST STEAK ON EARTH for lunch today. so sad.

can't wait to work and get my pay. i just can't believe that the 18 year-old JUON will be the one in-charge of the WHOLE event and giving the 18 year-old us some kind of get-to-know-product session. damn man! he just damn 18 and he's incharge of everything! i'm jealous of cos! but i think i'll be having benefits. *big wide SMILE*



SPESHOW! anybody out there who is generous to get me.... LUO ZHI XIANG'S LASTEST ALBUM-SPESHOW? i'll definetly marry you. damn.


i so hate attention-seekers! *slaps*

went to apply for the basic theory yesterday. gonna have the exam on 27 dec. the whole gang took the same date. hmm. whole gang refers to those age 18 and above. which means it only include d, nifer, yp and me. nifer told me that the lady said it's an open book test. she also said we can do in at home; online. i don't know if it's true or false.

went k session with ah girl jie jie again. i'm fine this time, din manage to loose my voice. night came, went to meet desmond. suggested to go k again. what the hell. after much suggestions, we headed to the cathay to watch STEP UP. alright peep, you just fucking have to go catch this damn movie. it's fab, fantastic and damn cool. so, just go watch okay. fell straight on the bed after i reached home. a tough day out you see. desmond said i look better when i'm tan. hehes. love it man! he always praise me. so good. LOLs.

i'm still considering if i should go next friday not. i'm afraid that my mum won't allow. cos it will be twice a week next week. but i'm not sure if i can go N's birthday, i'll be having school the next day. either i skip it or i don't go N's birthday. i'm more interested in MOS leh. cos i think N will be celebrating his birthday on thursday and friday MOS again? how to go sia. this terrible!

get this for me!

SENTOSA! the whole gang went today-D, KG, J, NIFER, YP and ME! the official 6 of us. =) got myself tanned and in the meantime, i'm burnt. LMAO. so happy and satisfied when i see my tan though it isn't very tan, but i still love it. an improvement. i love J's tan, she got herself REAL tanned. so motivated sia. everyone was like playing but she was the only one who sat straight one the sun just so tan. i'm so EVNY! thought that the sun isn't friendly today. morning, it was so good but when we reach sentosa, it's gone! it came out again and off and finally, it started to drizzle a lil. kinda sad but the sun was out AGAIN. so, that's how i got myself so BLACK today.

wasn't much photo taken. cos almost everyone was busy playing and tanning. oh! not forgetting, doing foot therapy. i love the scenery in siloso beach though there's tons of renovation going on. but who cares! i enjoyed do much even though the toilet was like KM away from our territory. BUT no more siloso for us. only palawan. no sand war between us today. just a simple day to relax and enjoy the scenery after EXAMS. i do have loads of fun. especially with this whole gang! evey moment, i'm enjoying!

i kinda pissed off in the toilet. chi nas really doesn't have any damn brains. you know, there's a dressing session in th toilet. whereby, people can comb there hair and stuffs with the big mirror. get it? this 3 chi nas came and took the middle. therefore, seperating j and me. sweet. when i walked away to wash my clothings, they took my place when i left everything there. GREAT! so, i went back and stood there. their facial stuffs was mixed with my bags and clothes causing me to have a lil of hard time packing my bag. half way packing, they take is and that. for fuck! argh! moral: they have no fucking brains.

OH YEAH! we spent 40bucks on only SUSHI from marketplace. SALMON SALMON and SALMON! and i'll be going to appy for driving..... tomorrow.


alright. now, i'll let the photos do the talking. =)

YEAH YEAH! gonna have my SENTOSA: CHAPTER THREE tml. just can't wait to get myself tan. cos my tan lines are fading away. so sad. pray damn hard that it won't rain. no matter if i'm sick or whatever shit, I'M SO GONNA GO SENTOSA WITH YOU ALL. i wanna talk pictures too. nifer and J got their N73. cool. gonna have tons of photos for tml. think mostly straight snap shot cos nifer is the photographer tml. damn cool la. i just can't wait to go! i wanna take pictures with EVERYONE!

kinda disappointed that i didn't get to catch MATERIAL GIRLS after exam. mind you, material girls does not means that the movie is related to the girls making materials like wool, cloth, wood and what have you okay.

econs! i will pass for sure. no matter what happens. but i just can't get a better grade this time. my instinct tells me. cos my test wasn't that GREAT. but hopefully, i get a B. well, it's a little CHICKEN TOES though. but for certain parts, i had STM. so, pray la.

honestly, vivo just sucked so much. there fucking nothing there!

bye peeps! i just CAN'T wait to go SENTOSA! GOSH! i have not pack my bag. hmmm. the white one or the nike one for tml? mostly nike i think. cos i'm afraid i might dirty my white bag somehow, cos you know, there's certain memories. LOLs.


为什么你还是不言不语?

are we friends from the start or are we more than that?


yea yea. PBM is chicken toes again. got 3 hours for the whole damn exam but i only took around an hour to do? slack in the air-con room till nifer came to give me signal. LOLs. yea. KG did gave me some signal but so sorry la. i wanna relax more in the air-con room. it's CHICKEN TOES man! rushed throughout the whole paper to prevent me from having STM mid way. anyway, IT'S REALLY CHICKEN TOES MAN! can't believe it. hopefully i get an DISTINCTION this time. =) if i don't, i'll go hang myself. going to school early really does helps. cool. though i only slept like less than 4 hours? but never mind. hard work pays everything. oh ya! hard work refers to going to school early for revision not the sleep less than 4 hours. the sleeping part it's just i can't myself to sleep on my damn bed. just don't understand why so many people treats their bed as FARRARI. pointless. LOLs. maybe it becos i prefer fun to sleeping? for fun, i'll do anything! hehes. one more day to econs and movies and sentosa here i come! 2 chapters to memorize for econs and i'm done!

when tm, saw da jie! so glad to see that she so damn find now. oh yeah! i shared a lil secret of mine to her and she said "WOAH!" hahas. but she's happy for me too.

OH! can someone tells me what the length for one feet. it's not baby's foo. neither is it adult's nor monster's foot. not those what shoes sizes and stuffs. i mean 1 FEET. understand?

end here, PRINCIPLE OF BUSINESS MANAGEMENT IS TOTALLY CHICKEN TOES TODAY!

i want candies.
i want chocolate.
i want gummy bears.
i want wonka's bar.
i want muffins.
i want masmalows.
i want sweets.
i want movies.
i want steps up.
i want material girls.
i want luo zhi xiang's lastest album.
i want shopping.
i want tcc-ing.
i want watches.
i want clothings.
i want schooling.
i want jellies.
i want harry potter.
i want photo taking session.
i want k session.
i want clubbing.
i want sentosa trips.
i want meetups.
i want sushi.
i want ben & jerry.
i want shoes.
i want gym.
i want romantic christmas.
OH NO! I HAVE NOT GET THE LAST CLEO MAGAZINE!


anyone wanna sponsor me?

oh well, come on. of cos you don't long for me anymore, you long for someone else. don't lie and don't be contradicting.

if you look carefully, all those stuffs that you were pissed of with was like, 1,2,3 months ago and you are making a HUGE fuss about it after so long? so what if i posted the things you have said? you were the one who scare the living shit out of me. the only way to vomit everything was just this unknown blog to everyone. i choose not to tell anyone. i choose to swallow the insults, the accuses, the untrue facts and the amount of nonsense you have gave me. i had no choice but to label you a mad man at that moment. cos i really felt so. ask yourself, why didn't i went to the roof top garden to meet you that night.

and now, you choose to say that our relationship was a waste of your time? how nice can you get? after so many things, it's a waste of time? why not stop getting into any relationships? in case your next gf broke of with you and it will be a waste of time too. you know what, you fall in love even easier, so, don't accuse me. you took less than 4 months to fall for me after lydia and now, you took less than 2 months to fall for another girl. fast isn't it?

of cos you don't hate me. cos i did no wrong. you were the one. you did wrong by sending me those msges. those insulting msges. yi ting told me that her r/s was shit and she got herself into depression. but when she saw me, she told me "i think my r/s is better than yours." i'm lucky that i din hung myself. okay. i know hanging in exaggerating.

get a life please! we have already broken up and you still wanna quarrel with me? as i have said, i wanted a beautiful break up yet, you made it ended up in the manner. i told you i want us to be the way i have with aliff. i tried explaining to you that there's nothing between norman and me, still you choose to not believe. where's the trusts that you said you had?

i, too, wanna know how you have been. i wanna contact you but you've changed your number. seeing you moving on so happily with your life, i know i shouldn't interupt. i've been thinking, how's you o levels, can you handle them? can you cope with math? and blah blah blah.

whether friends or not, it's up to you to make the decision.

anyway, those that i had blogged were updates about me, to KUAN LI. no choice, she's too far away from me. hence, this is the only way. anyway, i don't think anyone will be like you to read my history right? i think so la.




gees, i'm gonna be a typewriter.

i feel so lonely. i need to go somewhere. i can't stay at home cos i can't nonsense with anyone. argh! haven been a typewriter for few days and i'm so SO not used to it. i LOVE the noisy me. =) i wanna be noisy!

can't wait for the next SENTOSA trip after exams. my entire mind is all occupied with the sence and the activites i had at sentosa with the whole gang! i wanna get myself tanned. cos i'm just half-tanned. argh! it's so U-G-L-Y! i wanna be a lil lighter than KG. LOLs.

what should i do online?

there's alot to memorize. where should i start? the whole fucking day, i only memorized just 2 questions. damn. i just can get my ass stuck and memorize. i just kept thinking and thinking. I CAN'T FUCKING STOP MYSELF FROM THINKING! you know what, my new hobby will be thinking. argh! i got no time! 5 more questions to memorize in 5 days? can i do it? i need to revise. can i can i? i hate it when i get so stressed up. for fuck.

should i say i'm happy or should i say i'm kinda sad? or maybe not sad. it's LOST?

left a note to prepare and my notes will be all done. and i can do all the memorizing stuffs. i should say exam will be a lil relax. cos PBM is almost alike the previous PBM. i mean the questions. apart from the relaxing stuffs, i still gotta put in efforts. i wanna get BB or if i'm real lucky, both As please. i must be motivated. today, enough of writing notes and going through those questions that i have learnt. tml, i'll get down to serious work.

pucked up all my courage to get back my 10bucks from that someone who owe me. thanks to my friends. we were on this topic of money and all the money comes in. people owing money and owing people money.



i felt helpless at times. yet, i have people to brighten me up and so on. i'm really glad and thankful. i have loads of things to express. but i just don't know how to use my words to express. i wish to be alone, but i don't. i wanna sleep but i afraid of nightmares. i wanna talk to someone, but i'm afraid i might be conquring their time. i wanna meet up with people but i just can't seem to find a right time. i wanna watch movies, but i have NO time. i wanna go on dates. i love dating but no one's dating me. everyone is busy and busy and SO DAMN busy. i want more time so that i can go on dates. lols. i just want someone to talk to me. that's all.

i did something worng. i'm glad i'm forgiven. but i still have not forgive myself.

PARTY WORLD! yeah! manage to get the LIM family to go K with us. so damn elated that they would tag along. 5 of us! kinda tired though. but i had lots of fun SINGING.

had two lessons today though i turned up for both, i was late for the first session and went off early of K the next session. it's kinda bad i know. not studying and going PARTY WORLD to sing. but if you were me, would you carry on listening to something that you have listened for almost 3 modules or would you save your time and go enjoy? OF COS, i know your answer will be..... ENJOY! hahas.

i guess gym's toilet is really my 3rd home. i actually slept in the GYM'S TOILET. mind you, it's a TOILET. the rest were playing around with their hair. making all sort of patterns out of their hairs. can't blame them, they have long hair while i do not. so, SLEEP. i lie flat on the toilet bench and nifer kept disturing me. however, she's very sweet. she knew i was feeling cold though i was wearing my jacket, she lent me hers to cover my body. SOOO SWEET OF HER! love her man!

oh yeah! MASTER'S birthday is coming. alright. master is norman. he is not in any category of gentleman! he owes me SAKAE SUSHI, 3 BEN & JERRY ICE and what's more? hmmm. i don't think there's any. and now, he wants me to call him master! how nice! so, i have planned. no matter what shit happens, he is going to get a handmade birthday card from me for his birthday! just a plain piece of paper and "happy birthday" writen with... erm... black ink? he's very evil too. he told ah girl jie jie that he might be celebrating in a chalet AND ah girl jie jie and i can't go. extremly sweet. WHY? it's becos one is fat and one is just 18(too young). cool man! if there's no chalet, he will be celebrating at...some place that clubbing takes place. AND I GET TO GO!! HE HE! first ever clubbing for me will be on 23 NOV 2006 or earlier a tiny lil bit. but hopefully, i'll get to go come club before going to N's birthday. =)


enough of happy stuffs. now, it's emo time. what the fuck!

i kept telling my friends that i have recovered! fully and totally healed. no more worries. BUT, i'm so not, yet! seemed like he really moved on with his life. but i'm still stucked! i know i no longer love him and he's been giving me loads and tons of nightmares, yet, i still feel this way. i thought i really moved on, but i'm still fucking stucked! the reason why i broke off with him isn't that i don't love him any longer. it's becos i need some time to breathe some fresh air. yet, he still pester me with this and that till i can't cope it. i gave him a chance. i told him i'll reconsider. i told him i have planned where to celebrate his birthday with him. isn't it a clue to him that he still stand some chance? WOLS sia. whatever. it's just that i couldn't take his pestering and stuffs, i made the decision. i tried to make the break-up a happy one instead it ended up like fucking shit cos he insulted me, do stupid stuffs. damn nice man! who to blame?

fuck it fuck it fuck it bitch! ARGH!!! i need somewhere to vent everything out. i need someone. but no one will understand. tried so hard to make myself laugh and smile. in the end, it's fuck! i don't know who to turn to, the one that i will often turn to, she is now fucking at canada! tell me what should i do now? damn it! tell me what fucking shit should i do now?!

why am i feeling this way?