boyfriend and i seem to have some connection.

there's this very day, i know my cellphone is gonna die on me before 2pm that day. yet, i forgot to bring the god damn charger to work. it was 3pm, pretty busy at work 'cause lkk always send me late to work and i have to rush through updating, arranging viewing and stuffs, i didn't hear any rings from my phone and i decided to check if it died. just like i expected, it did.

it's okay if my phone died on normal days 'cause i got another line which people will call or i diverted it over. but that day, i had no time to divert it over. i got this urge that bf is looking for me like mad shit. to try luck and see if my instinct is always right, i phoned him with the office phone. as expected, he was looking for me like mad cow. blah! and when i swapped my phone, singtel left me a msg that he called me like 5-6 times, and it was immediated effect that i called him back.

at times, i can really estimate what time bf will call me and i will take my cellphone out of my bag. just like the very first day i return back to work, i knew he would call me during his lunch.

prolly some brain waves connection.

the fact that i'm always living in my own world is really pissing off everyone around me. living in my own world here only happens when i'm tired-cum-sleepy. this means that when i'm out with my friends/bosses/colleagues, everyone is talking around while me, having a tiny world of mine revolving right in my mind. thinking of what? i have no idea seriously.

actually, i didn't pay much attention to this huge problem of mine. once, mellie told me that i'm always in a world of my own when ting and her were there bitching about life. till this very day, eventually, i realise this huge behavior of mine, is a mistake. it's pissing my guy off. it's irritating ade. it put michelle with loads of question marks. it gave a boss a chance to laugh. it's pissing my parents off.

well, it might be cute sometimes when i reply an answer that has totally no link to the question being asked. or popping out a question which has totally no relation to the topic my crowd is discussing/bitching/cursing/gossiping about. it's can be cute too when i give a wrong reaction to certain things.

you know, when i'm real tired and begining to move to into my own world, i hate people around to tell me nonsense and totally lame stuffs. it might be funny but it's totally stupid to tell me such stuffs when i'm half dead and you're there trying to make me laugh hard? it will only get me pissed off, vice versa.

so, i dislike meeting my guy when i did not have enough sleep the previous night. 'cause what he will be telling me turn deaf to me. the worse was if he thinks i'm mad at him and keep trying to tell me lame stuffs to make me smile, well, at times, he succeed. but i swear i hate it, the rest of the time. it's like i'm not listening and you are tring hard to make me happy? yes, it's so wrong to be like this. YES, I KNOW. i just can't help it. behaving like this is really making him go crazy. he thinks i didn't wanna talk to him. how could that be?

i can actually be in my own world when i'm on the line with my clients or agents.

what's here is, what i'm i actually thinking when i'm in my own world?

prolly these days, i have been thinking.......

...... of everlasting love. you know, when they said they wanted to get married, that's the moment when i see it with my eyes that true love actually exists. the question: "how to be with a person for so many years when seeing him everyday can actually get you turned off?" finally had a beautiful answer for me. NOW, this beliefs in me is being tarnish. i met her the other day, i tried to make her feel better, yet deep in me, crying for her. i could feel the pain in her. well, i actually cried for her or rather, them. what i have been through last year was really a painful experience for me, so, for hers, it's been 5 years, i think it could be double or triple of the pain i experienced.
...... how to be a girlfriend. not girlfriend actually, but a perfect one. i know i can't be a perfect one but at least close to perfect? i'm trying. can't you see i'm finally trying my best to be a girlfriend's of someone else? i really put in alot of effort in this la! wah lau! i have never been like this for life man. you know, i used to be the guy in the r/s yet now, i'm a girl in it. that's why, getting a 大男人 as your boyfriend is a good thing. they make you a girl.
...... why no more buyers? when never close? no more money! die die die. LKK gonna scold me if no sales. why are houses so expensive now?
...... school starts how to work? where sam go? i need to ask him about my timetable. if afternonn how? like that cannot earn alot leh! roooooaaaaaaaarrrrrrr!
..... of auntie susan cute actions. i'm super hyperactive when i see her in office everyday at 530pm! that's the time when the office get livelier. well, with me around it's already damn lively. don't you think so? the one pathetic week when i'm not in office, i bet uncle victor was so drop dead bored 'cause he got no one to bully. and my boss got no one to make him smile. michelle got no one to gossip to especially about DUA NEH. see, don't you get it? they need me.
..... sigh, it's saturday tomorrow, need to wake up early. IT'S WAR TIME. it's good to have saturdays. 'cause it means money. and it also means most of the time i will be in my own world.
..... michelle lim, the childhood days we had. i don't know why, but i have been missing her like everyday recently. i have not been talking to her for about 2 weeks and not meeting her for months!
..... why sg got no more nice clothings? i got the money you know, but why i don't see anything i like to buy? it's really pissing me off when i couldn't get anything everytime i'm out!

maybe there's more. like thinking of my cousins, my aunt, my grandma, my hamsters, him, her, they, it, we, so on and so on.

anyway, i have always been wanting to put a picture of him and me, BUT we doesn't seem to be taking or rather, he has been taking for me, just that we haven took together, yet. and so, i made up my mind which means i have a mindset of taking photos with him tomorrow IF he meets me. oh well, if he doesn't meet me tomorrow, he will be dead!

imagine you were talking on the phone with your bf and it's pissing you off 'cause he isn't listening. so, throughout almost the whole conversation you were there, "hello? hello? HELLLLOOO!"

it happened a couple of times.

your mum walked into the room and you had a short conversation with her putting him on hold. yet, when you return back to the conversation, he somehow when missing, so, you screamed across the phone.

and the next moment, you hear his mum voice on the phone. DAMN IT!


which means his mum picked up the phone to dial a number to call not noticing her son was on the line. and unluckily, she heard her son's gf screaming across the phone.


it's so damn embarrassing.

i need to be alone NOW! but that freak of mine doesn't allows me to. damn it.

ROOOAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

did i say i'm attached to a 大男人 not very 大男人, but well, still 大男人. which makes him super man. AWWW!
anyway, i love 大男人 guys very much, ALOT! well, this means that i love him very much too, obviously.


SO, it's really like falling in love for the first time this time!

did i mention that he is a spicy feak? food without chilli sauce makes him go crazy. chicken chop without peper sauce gets him irritated. soup without peper makes him turn off.

oh, he's a soccer freak. i hate and love it, though. i love to watch soccer matches with him. well, i hate it initially 'cause i wanna watch my tv shows WHAT! somehow, he influence me and i kinda like it, pretty much. i love the feeling when the team he betted was about to score a goal, damn exciting. i hate it when he betted as if he has a million of fortune.

everything he does, makes me wanna smile. no, it's not honeymoon period for sure. 'cause our's was way back then. he knows when to be sweet. when's the moment to get me jealous/angry and make it back to me the very next moment. he knows the right way to handle me. well, when i'm really willful, sometimes only la! (like during my pms periods that will add up to like lasting for 2 weeks plus. but willful will take up like maybe 2.5 day for that 2 weeks? which makes it 60 hours only. that's very few what!) he will ignore me somehow(so clever) or tell me his cock and bull stories about his imaginery life. and i'll go crawling back to him when i'm better.

he hates doing duty! me too. totally waste my time! our time. but then again, we get to talk on the phone when he has duty. so, i also like it. LOL! he can actually complains to me about his duty eversince 6 months ago? and his speech have not change any single bit. always giving me that irritated look and voice when he said, "wah lau, i got duty tomorrow. roar!"

he will call me during his lunch time whenever he could when i'm at work. just to check on me. whether it's a good or bad, i love it, baby.

man, thinking of him can make me smile to sleep. especially his cute way of saying good-bye to me.
told you, it's like falling in love for the first time.
and talking to him on msn makes me like a lunatic laughing crazily at my lappy.

being with him makes me like a girl, girlfriend. whine like a chick. love like a chick. behave like a chick. it's more like a lady now. but cleaning up his room with him like his maid girlfriend.

hun, you rock my world!

ROOOOOOARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!




i really couldn't take it anymore!
an extra day is equivalent to torture for me.

when was the last time i actually, meet up with my gfs for a totally carefree day, just laughters and no disturbance from others.
when was the last time i really have a good night sleep, without having nightmares? or rather when was the last time, i really slept.
when was the last time stopped myself from being stressed up?
when was the last time i had the best saturday's morning?

when was that?
3 months ago.

the next one should be more appealing.

so many things to consider.
it's an amount of an LV bag i'm throwing away.
how am i suppose to do it?
will i be much happier, soon?

leave me alone for a day or so. i'll be alright, soon.

honey, can you give a me a big hug when you see me later?