REGINA'S

i don't understand the way i'm thinking?! in fact, i don't know why or what i'm i thinking. can someone please help me? i'm like stuggling now.

i understand the reason why he doesn't wanna go out with me. he doesn't have the money to provide enough for me. well, count me unlucky to fall for him. at times, i had to pay some for him. but when the times he really has money to provide me, i guess, that was the happiest thing he had done. well, i don't blame him for not having enough to provide me and using my money, i understand that he's still young, i should give him more time. if i had chosen him, i should bare the consequences. however, i'm unhappy with what is going on between us. half a year without surprises, presents that shower my with his love. i think money is the main issuse here. 'cos i personally think that i'm a easily please person, as long as you can provide me with what i want, that's it. there will no longer be childish problems in our relationship. all i have to do now is wait for him to get his pay which i don't even know which year he will get it.

i thought a lot. it's always the our past that helps me to stay on with him. when i'm totally in love with him, all put in all my heart to do so, no matter how much i flirt or talks, msg with other guys, i'm still totally in love with him. but he don't understand me. you think that if i talk to the guy, i will fall for him. or norman, it's really my fault for talking to him at sucha late night. but no matter how many times i explained to him, he did not believe and ended up ignoring norman's msg. i feel really bad deep in my heart. it's like there's nothing going on between norman and me and because of you, i had to ignore his msg. i really don't know how to explain the feeling. perhaps, friendship comes in first for me.

when he started to treat me like shit, scolding, shouting, attituding and so on, my heart will go wild. i don't know what should i do to solve this. i don't understand why these few times, whenever i had a huge fight with him, someone, different guys will appeared to make me feel much much better. why must it always be a guy? i tried not to wander my heart and thoughts of by thinking of or past, at times, it really helps while sometimes, it doesn't.

i can be real good to my bf but i wan him to understand me and not controlling my life like i'm being tied. i cannot go out with my friends, i must meet him and so on. i need life! when he can't afford to go shopping to me, i turn to my friends, but he's unhappy and fed up that instead of going out with him, i go out with my friends.

i'm a demanding person, stubborn you can say. i really don't know how to change. i want my bf to listen to me, do say i say and I WANT MY FREEDOM! a sweet guy is when he does or obey everything his gf ask or request. he don't mind if he has to act like a transexual or maid or a clown but just to please her. just look at the way chen xiao seng treats ah-zi. isn't that what every girl wants? he give in and in again to ah-zi no matter what. he don't mind being treated like a sissy, as long as he can make her happy, he will do anything like waking up early to go up hills to buy her fav. food.


WHY AREN'T ALL THE FUCKING GUYS OUT THERE DOING THIS?! FACES? PLEASE, TO YOUR LOVES ONES, YOU DON'T NEED FACES BUT JUST GIVE IN AND IN TO HER! WHY ARE ALL THE GUYS SO HOT TEMPER? WHERE ARE ALL THE FUCKING GOODS MAN?!