REGINA'S

he pester me. he irritates me.and all these really bother me. i hate it!

it's like, when i wanna reply, i will reply him. when i wanna pick up the phone, i will. the whole day i was thinking if i should patch up with him and he msged me if i can msg him cos he's feeling very down. i didn't reply. i had so much to stress about, so much to think about. he called me again, and i didn't pick up. when i don't pick up that means i really doesn't wanna pick up. I HAD NO MOOD! he msged me and called me at the same time. FUCK! if he wants to msg me, then why bother to call me? wait for my fucking msg la. he called and i was trying to type the whole fucking msg to reply him and he keep calling! fine, my phone got hang, the whole cellphone hung! can't work. the whole phone is in fucking mess now! happy now? thanks to you. then, he tried something new, he called my house. i picked up twice and my mum picked once. she questioned and stuffs. i'm going mad.

i can't stand the life i'm having now! i'm really so depressed! why no one isn't anyone helping me? why no one knows how i feel. i tried acting happy. yeah, HAPPY, to prevent myself from going depress, or getting myself really into depression. my brains are brusting, i'm feeling terrible and horrible. i want the life whereby it's only me, my decision, my thinkings and myself. i hate it when people irritates, pester me. i really hate it and i'm disgusted. i'm not going to change my mind of patching up. NO means NO. i really cannot live my life with him anymore. i really can't.


i feel my hand really dirty now. i control myself not to wash my hands, i really have to control.