REGINA'S

i'm not trying to play hard to get.

it's just that you didn't get to know what i have been through previously. it's had became a phobia for me to believe what is being said even if you meant it.

i know it might be unfair to you, you and maybe you. i just need some time to for me to slot things out which i seriously have no idea when will that be. so, if i'm really mean all these while, i din really mean it. it's just that i don't want you to cling too much hope. i don't mind another you run away. 'cause the problem lies in me.

maybe someday, there's this someone, who can really make me feel so happy with him around and everyday is still laughters despite all the arguements and thunderous quarrels and i still don't hate him. maybe just by seeing him it just brighten up my day with a single word said. and he might be someone who isn't controlling. allows me to hangout with my friends anytime as long as at the end of the day, he comes and pick me up. he doesn't complains if i had spent too less time with him. maybe he will also be the one who is so generous to allow me to meet my guy friends. 'cause i hate more male friends than females and he must understand this fact. he will gives in to me despite all my stubborn attitude, sudden super mood swings and even when i'm in the wrong, he doesn't make a huge fuss about it. whatever it is, HE GIVES IN ALL TO ME no matter how bad i made the mistake. he has to be the one listening to me but he must be 大男人. like when to eat, where to go and stuffs, he's the one to plan. and when i got my plans, we will just act according to MINE. maybe a just buy giving me the irritated-look, i'll be so happy about it. perhaps, the way he sit can melt my heart. he will be the one who always irritate me when i really want someone to. maybe he will fly all the way into JB just to buy me my watermelon bubblegum and he's the one who go around all the stores just to look for my watermelon lollipop. he will scold me all of a sudden, just to allow me to scold him back. he tries to come up with stories on the dot when i want it. he must be violent in a nice way. he will give me surprises 4 times a month! he will give the funny look when i'm super duper irritating. he knows how to protect me. he will be the one when even a just a dot in the msg sent to me, i will laugh. i meant laugh not smile alright. he will allows me to just nag at him whenever he is late and without a single black face. but smiles and nonsense he used to cover up.

damn it, i think i better stop it. it seems so unrealistic now. like using the clay or mud in the science lab to make a best boyfriend for myself now.

anyway, if there's really really such person out there, please please tell me okay. and if you're not, please, don't try hard to change for the sake of.

and once again, i have to emphasize on this again. I'M NOT A LESBIAN. being close to my girlfriends doesn't make me one as well. girls tend to be closer to each other when they can really click alright. not having a bf doesn't make me a lesbian too. it's a matter of finding the correct one. if it's not, why bother to try?

and guys, if you really have a gf, please stop going around and flirt with another girl. it really hurts to know that she was actually a third party. it would be worse if she had her heart with you.


till then, i hope technology change fast so i can create my own BF!
muahahaha!