REGINA'S

is that a warning again? never once was i given a feasible reason or explaination. pretending to be preoccupied or adsent minded now? or pretending to forget my existence? i thought everything was going on pretty well. and that day.......we....... how can it happened so fast again?! AGAIN!

i have done my part. if you still prefer to continue avoiding and decieving yourself, fine, i have nothing to say. if you choose to withhold, sorry, i'm running out of time. things are changing now. once they made the decision, i'm sorry, i'm not gonna look back.

so now, my messed up life is about to end. which is a good thingy, however, i'm not even happy. everything that was done was a glimpse of hope for me. somehow, i was given the hope and it was banished by the same person. the fun thing about my messed up life is i have not even shed any tears. maybe it's because i experienced hell the pervious time, or am i just too tired? maybe after ending this post, after thinking what have i done wrong(which i don't think i did), i'm gonna breakdown. i did all i could. i did what i was told.

WHY? i have always been asking myself. WHY! i'm 19 already! i'm not any lil girl anymore. but WHY?

i'm not feeling fine. i so do not. i can't sleep but i eat alot. drinking seems to be the best way for me. FRIDAY! i shall call simon and ask later. i know it's unhealthy to drink and get drunk. i can't resist. i love the feeling alot. how i wish i get drunk and i screw everything out, i get i'll feel even better. it will be better if i get drunk everyday so i can fall asleep faster and i don't have to keep asking myself why and start seeking for answers.

i think i'm too free and that will lead me to thinking of stupid issuses. so, hopefully when work starts, i'll be better and it will be my turn to forget his existence. i'm looking forward working!


emo and breakdown session in a moment.