i have lost; to myself.
i'm so so so tired! eversince the eve of chinese new year, or rather eversince the start of my exams, when did i ever have enough of sleep? yes, i'm lacking of sleeps. the problem here is i can't sleep till 3 or 4am. am i suffering from insomnia? i really think i need sleeping pills. seems that most of the people around are taking it. yea, due to late nights out. i'm down. i'm sick along with people around me. cos of late nights, everyone is lacking of sleeps and all falling sick. but no one seems to care a single shit about it. this moment we complain we are so damn sick and so on and we can't go out and stuffs, the next moment, we will be searching for people and "hey! tonight dragonfly? mos?"
i don't mind being sick. i wanna get sick. i wanna have a real rest. i hope i can sleep all the way so that i can stop myself from messing up my life every single day. every morning, the first thing that came to my mind is "fuck! i lost!" knowing that i the same protocol everyday will still lead me to nothing, i proceed.
2 days in chalet, i have serious mood swings. partly because i'm pmsing and the other is about my messed up life! but i'm glad my sharingmate is there to listen and give me advise and accompanied me. even though my mate's situation isn't any better than me, he manage to smile so much. perhaps, he's a guy, he is still able to accept the fact. so far, i think only mate know the whole situation about me. tml it will be yi ting's turn. he gave me advises. but still, i hate to believe it. somehow or rather, we conclude that no matter what, still we will have that mini hope there. hoping someday, things will just go our way. thanks mate, for caring.
oh yea, I WANNA COMPLAIN! it's very stupid to have blankets in the chalet. what's the point of having blankets when the are so many holes. isn't it suppose that blanket should keep a person warm and not cold? i was shrivering the whole night covering the chalet's blanket. thank d, he gave me his jacket. yes, i felt better after that for the upper part of my body only. =/
i'm feeling fat now. supper after supper. i'm dead. time to go into my usual diet plan.
that day, was a day that i have longing for. i thank you for making part of it come true and making the other part into shit. you knew it. admit it. everyone felt it. even i did not make it obvious, they felt it still. they asked. but i denied; still.
i'm so so so tired! eversince the eve of chinese new year, or rather eversince the start of my exams, when did i ever have enough of sleep? yes, i'm lacking of sleeps. the problem here is i can't sleep till 3 or 4am. am i suffering from insomnia? i really think i need sleeping pills. seems that most of the people around are taking it. yea, due to late nights out. i'm down. i'm sick along with people around me. cos of late nights, everyone is lacking of sleeps and all falling sick. but no one seems to care a single shit about it. this moment we complain we are so damn sick and so on and we can't go out and stuffs, the next moment, we will be searching for people and "hey! tonight dragonfly? mos?"
i don't mind being sick. i wanna get sick. i wanna have a real rest. i hope i can sleep all the way so that i can stop myself from messing up my life every single day. every morning, the first thing that came to my mind is "fuck! i lost!" knowing that i the same protocol everyday will still lead me to nothing, i proceed.
2 days in chalet, i have serious mood swings. partly because i'm pmsing and the other is about my messed up life! but i'm glad my sharingmate is there to listen and give me advise and accompanied me. even though my mate's situation isn't any better than me, he manage to smile so much. perhaps, he's a guy, he is still able to accept the fact. so far, i think only mate know the whole situation about me. tml it will be yi ting's turn. he gave me advises. but still, i hate to believe it. somehow or rather, we conclude that no matter what, still we will have that mini hope there. hoping someday, things will just go our way. thanks mate, for caring.
oh yea, I WANNA COMPLAIN! it's very stupid to have blankets in the chalet. what's the point of having blankets when the are so many holes. isn't it suppose that blanket should keep a person warm and not cold? i was shrivering the whole night covering the chalet's blanket. thank d, he gave me his jacket. yes, i felt better after that for the upper part of my body only. =/
i'm feeling fat now. supper after supper. i'm dead. time to go into my usual diet plan.
that day, was a day that i have longing for. i thank you for making part of it come true and making the other part into shit. you knew it. admit it. everyone felt it. even i did not make it obvious, they felt it still. they asked. but i denied; still.
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