REGINA'S

it's still lacking of something and that's why i'm hesitating?

i kept rejecting, rejecting and endless rejecting. till i seriously have no idea how am i going to accept.

yea, it's been 5 months for this no string attach thing going on. isn't it still going on well still even though it's no string attach?

there are really times when i gave a serious thought about it that concluded i should commit. well, it was so unlikely. coincidentals or whatever craps, each and every time i have made up my mind, i will came cross people telling me, 'this house is divorce case,' 'i just broke off with my boyfriend 'cause we were both busy with work,' 'knn, got gf already still sent me flirt for what!' 'he fell in love with someone else, assholes!' then, i get to see/hear friend/people having affairs.

yet, whenever i get to see my sis and jie fu, it makes me have a complete different thought of what i always had. as long as one party is willing to give in and there's trust among them, most importantly if they have a goal, love will still last.

and so happen to, the thought of me, not relying on any other guy can really terminate the thought of me committing. the money i earn will be mine and only mine. no one will forbid me from being over obsess with shopping or getting aggressively materialistic.

but then again, he doesn't use my money unless i offer to. he got his own way for money, so i don't see a need in sharing my hard earn share with him, meaning, my money is still mine till i offer to treat.

maybe he will go poor someday 'cause he doesn't use his money wisely. 'cause, once he wanna get something, he doesn't give a damn shit about the price. just from the look of my birthday prezzie, god-damn-it! so, when he goes poor, i wouldn't bare to let him suffer alone which means, my hard earn share will be shared. well,

TOUCH WOOD!

i'm sure this will never happen.

no, it's not about looks that is stopping me. no, it's no about communication. nope, it's also not about different view. it's also not that he is childish in his thinkings. it's not 'cause he gets angry or irritated when i wake him up from his deep sleeps, HE DOESN'T. no, he doesn't scolds/yells/shouts me. yes, he gives in to me all the time. no, it's not 'cause he's not sweet. no, he likes shopping with me. no, it's not 'cause he rub his eyes as if he will digging them out. NO, IT'S NOT.

i'm not sure whether is this the main issue.
when people get into a new enivorment, eg, work, school, somehow or what, they will change physically and mentially. we shape out thinkings with the people we meet and the things we do. this impact is so huge that it could easily be seen over night.

so, you started to pick things up at work causing lesser time spend with him. then, to have better connections with people, you tend to wanna hangout with them more often, whether to gain more knowledge or getting to know more of them. while communicating with people, the influence you, at times, it may be a huge one while others actually do, but the impact and change wasn't that huge. but it's still somehow, change you to another person.

after not meeting him over a period of time, due to work, eventually, you digged out time. it seems to be a dull night 'cause topics were different. you're taking about your job and he might be talking about school or army life. this lead to communication break down and causing arguements, shoutings, yellings, hurtful words pierced.

well, if both are willing to compromise, eventually, you won't see any of this problem bothering you.

here the thing.
what if, you're working and on the other hand schooling? how are you gonna cope with work, schools, projects, exams and him?

he will have a change of lifestyle then, different thinkings.

and obviously, you will be lacking of time, and he might be knowing another girl who has more time than him and what's more, they are from the same class and they can do projects and study together!

okay, cut of the getting to know another girl.

everything will be change. everyone has their own stuffs to complete. own goals to achieve. the both of you may be confident that the both of you will get pass this piece of nonsense as soon as possible. who knows what comes in between?



F, i got my answer.