REGINA'S

4 Reasons We Judge Others

We are insecure. This is the main reason we judge. When we are insecure and/or unhappy with who we are, we try to put other people down. Though it doesn’t usually build us up when we put others down, we do it anyway. We want to feel good by making others feel bad.

We are scared. Often, when we’re scared or intimated by other people, we’ll put them down. Coworkers band together and make fun of their boss (see The Office). Two women see a prettier woman as a threat and they make fun of her outfit. When people are scared, they try to feel better by putting others down. We also may fear those who are different from us and may judge them just because they are unlike us.

We are lonely. As I mentioned before, there is a bonding element that goes along with judging others. When you are lonely, you might use judgments to bond with other people, but these bonds are based on negativity. The bonds you have based on judging others are superficial and are not likely to contain true substance.

We are seeking change. When we want our own lives to be different, we are quick to judge the lives of others. For example, if someone wants to be in a committed relationship and his friend gets engaged, he might whisper, “Oh, that girl is so not right for him. I don’t know why they’re getting married.” If we are jealous of others’ changing lives we are likely to make quick judgments.