MONDAY BLUES

i lied. as usual. went to work. as usual. updated the newspapers and it's really pissing me off to see that almost all the listings are the same and so so many open listings. it was as though there's no point in updating. 'cause i'm typing the same thing over and over again. ask me which are the open listing units, and i'll give you a whole list of it.

i did alot of complains. i complained that i didn't wanna take up telemarketing. 'cause i get the same shit. it's a waste of my time. adrian agreed. i complained about jay, they both agreed too. air con not being cold. about being monday and having blues. ROARRR!

...............................................

bf and i were super-glued on saturday.

free maid at bf's place again, yesterday. i did it willingly this time. or rather, i couldn't stand seeing such an untidy room. it was better this time. room totally CLEAN! i meant REALLY CLEAN! bedsheet changed. all nonsenses were thrown away. windows wiped. floor mopped. desks all cleaned. so, bf and i worked together to get his room cleaned. well, he did helped out with the carrying of heavy stuffs, wipping the windows(the above part), what else? i can't really remember. but he really did helped, ALOT.

went over to mel's place for his princess 1st month! both brother and sister are so damn cute. and mel thinks that i'm co-broking with him when i asked him which level his house was at. "14 floor. top floor. sea view. corner." which is totally dull shit! it's top floor. but it doesn't have any sea view and it's corridor. it has some views actually. firework views from the kitchen. totally cock. oh shit! i talking like mel now.

bf has been super duper sweet to me lately. he's more understanding. he pays more attention to me. he calls me more often and tries to spend more time with me. we do a lot of compromising, in fact. i will never forget the 50 plus calls he gave me that day. and so, i love him loads.

from disturbing me through msn till the first BK we had till the uncountable meet ups for disgusting movies till i got my driving license till finished schooling and went over to HSR which causes many quarrels till i stopped clubbing till my birthday along with his and till chinese new year and finally i said "yes" till he finally ord tilli went for my degree and joined global and till he joined too and till desaru, it's been 10 months. baby, it's been 10 months of playing your part in my life that makes me as a whole this very day.

see, all these chio beh damn know how to relax la.

irene's butt

jennifer's butt

right, right, RIGHT!!! STOP! SLOWLY, LEFT, RIGHT. OH NO!

NOOOOOOOOO~

left.... a little more to the left, stopppp! RIGHT!!!

ARGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

eric's butt. a little bit more....


eunice's butt.

FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!










SPLASHHHHHHHHHHH......

opps....

shit....

argh!!!!

THIS IS WHAT I HATE!! 1KM WALK TO THE DAMN FOREST/JUNGLE!

anyway, i seriously don't understand why the chio beh were so happy being in this forest. i got freaking shit mosquitoes' bites!!

BF caught not helping at all!

WE ARE FIRST!!! even though i didn't help. so to speak, i shouldn't have went there.

jeff's and alvin's cock face.

lastly, to award our hard work of the day, the organizer treated us like monkeys.

that's all. i'm lazy to upload the rest. if you are really very interested like leon and queky, you can click on this LONG link below:

http://www.globalrealestate.com.sg/Photo%20Gallery/Global%20Desaru%20Retreat%202008%20dated%2010-11%20July%202008/index.html

Desaru wasn't really that bad if they didn't include going into the jungle and walking about 1km to reach there. should have listened to bf that we should have just go back our room and not join them. 'CAUSE i had uncountable mosquitoes' bites. totally irritate the shit outta me. everyone was there burning the dead leave to create smoke. well, it was as though we were about to burn down the whole forest. and it's my very first time that i encouraged bf to smoke and blow it right at me.

the resort was VERY run down kind. though angela did warn us about it but i was still putting high hopes that it woulsn't be that bad. but, yea. the air con in our room was spoilt, which also means, winnie, bf and i was freezing like hell despite i have changed the temperature to 30 degree celsius. it was really cooooooold.

the whole coy was totally hilarious. especially the whole of TNA. we had a great time gossiping. i still think TNA is the best group among all. the bond we had were different.

i must really admit that bf was super sweet. he somewhat took care of me for the whole trip. so to speak, bf and i actually used this trip to spend more time together. we were almost super glued except for some part whereby there's alot of sun and i walked as fast as i could to the shade leaving bf walking slowly behind.

anyway, bf got a new name from alvin, johnson. and everyone really called him johnson.

oh yeah! bf and i saw this damn nice rainbow while we were on the way to meet the whole coy. it's really good to see sucha lovely rainbow to brighten up our day.

prolly it's cause i got used to how 'usually' have always been there for me whenever i'm down. and how he always make my days a better ones.

maybe it's cause of all these, whenever i get so down, i think about him and when i think how things screwed up between the both of us, i get worse. i'm always in a situation whereby, am i more sad with my current problems or i still can't forget all the things we went through?

this really gets me into delimma.

once, i watched this drama. the lady told her husband this,

"i know i'm always making a huge fuss to divorce with you but it's not what i wanted at all. 'cause i know in this way, you will give me the attention i want."

THE SUPER PA

me: will you guys be going out later?
mel: why? wanna eat snake is it?
me: no la. you all always go out, i alone very bored one leh! so, are you guys going out?
mel: yup.
me: viewing huh?
mel: we're gonna go test drive cars. mercedes and lexus.
me: really?!!!!!
mel: (very high pitch) YA LA! wanna go not?
me: erm.... * thinking if i can actually leave my job and go with them? *
mel: oh, sorry huh. today you got a lot of things to do.
me: HUH~~~~ then like that i in office alone AGAIN LOR! wah sian!

so, the two bosses instructed me on what i should do:

1) submit 2 cases
2) logo claim
3) arrange 2 viewings for buyers
4) find lastest condo for district 14, 15,& 16
5) buy 200 stamps
6) go C. C Cheong and check who will be the lawyer
7) go for completion, ALONE
8) update listings
9) do mail list
10) call buyers
11) do feature sheet
12) check telemarker leads
13) arrange cases
14) find the cheapest hamper
THEY LEFT ME WITH SO MANY THINGS TO DO AND LEFT FOR THEIR TEST DRIVE! wah piang eh!

see now, first appointment i go, completion also i go. viewing i drive their car and go for viewing. submit case also i do. resale net also i do. see, where to find such a PA? must ask them to give me appraisal so i can request for a higher pay. nehneh. HSR offered me higher pay and plus overtime pay plus viewing pay plus commission man!

anthony said i'm a super PA. somehow, i agree too. LOL! but it's true what! where got PA go for first appointment and completion alone? where got PA drives and go viewing alone? where got PA can be so independent when the boss is not around. know what, my bosses will never get worried if i got nothing to do or will i screw things up. when time comes, i will bring my lappy to work. next, i think i will never get to see my bosses in office anymore. reason being they are always in the office 'cause i need to use their lappy. geddit?

AND SO, i'm trying very hard to bring queky back to me now. if not i will die in office if nobody comes. like today, no one from the same division was in office. the moment i saw jeff, it was like seeing GOD. that was how lonely i were in office. damn bf, still don't wanna come office and accompany me.

BUT, whilst doing so many work, i don't know why. i'm still so happy working with melvin and adrian! should have joined them way long long ago man! i so wanna show you my bosses photo la! so proud to be with them and be their PA.

school's good! GREAT in fact with my new lecturer, a gay. i really dislike him initially. he talks like crap, softly then loud. seriously, it was really what-the-fuck when i was really drop dead sleepy. imgaine i slept at 3am and wake up at 845am when class starts at 10. so, as i was saying, about this gay, the whole class was laughing so happily with his nonsense and i was the only one, i guess, to stare into space. all was just pure nonsense.

and it was only 12.05 and he said we have to be quick 'cause it's gonna be 1pm. guess what, we only have 3 more pages to go through and he thinks 55 mins isn't enough? totally insane. he crush his 50 dollar note and throw it in the air. totally mad. everything he does was really a turn off with his super girly actions. OH-DAMN.

well, i changed my impression for him at 12.45pm when he talks about singapore. he was having the same views as i have about singapore. about ERP. the increase the price to prevent jams but does the trafic jam stops? NO! it's still the same. thinking that more people would be talking to public transport. god! would someone who owns a 60K car just leave his car at home just to take the BUS?! huh? so, they asked us to wake up earlier to go for work. it's okay if one person wake up early to go to work. he wouldn't be in a jam. WHAT IF, everyone starts going to work early? wouldn't there still be a jam?

*** right at this point of time, there this idiot who raised his hand ***
IDIOT: what if they increase the ERP to $1K will people still wanna travel by cars?
i tell you, i so wanna take off my heels to throw it over at his face. a guy, taking degree now, it having thoughts of an idiot.

next, public transport. it's a public transport so, the company should be making profits isn't it? yet, public transport co. makes a million profits a year. isn't anything related to public should be subsidize? then, i don't mind to take public transport if it really can take me to my destination faster than driving a car. if singapore could do this, i bet there would be lesser cars. look at the trains in sg, morning, totally no seats still need to squeeze with people. by the time you reach you work place, you are already squash.

another thing is the culture of singapore. typical singaporeans-kiasu, busybodies, cheepo, AND WE TOTALLY LOVE TO SHOUT ON THE PHONE WHILST SLAMMING IT AFTER SHOUTING. why do we have such culture? for example, when telemarker call to ask if you are interested to sell you house, replying back a "sorry, no thanks." is this really that difficult? instead of scolding them(for what?), and slamming the phone before or after the sentence was complete. can't we just be a little more poilte and considerate at times? see how disgusting is it to have such culture. are you disgrace of yourself? i am. i admit. 'cause i do the same thing. i think we should really put ourseleves in another's shoes. maybe we will learn from there. and again, we don't even bother to learn. see it, this is singaporean.

so, i love this new lecturer. can't believe someone actually, or somehow has the same views as me regarding certain issues. in so gonna love econ.

next, i left for home earlier despite i have school today. bosses really good. so, work ends means staying in my own world which could just be a blank piece of mind. so,
someone: regina~
* i turned back and look. there was no one i knew *
someone: regina......
* oh the voice was coming beside me. i looked blankly at the person. who the hell is he*
someone: i'm zhongsheng's friend.
* huh? who is zhongsheng? *
someone: zhongsheng's friend lar~
* i tried to think harder and oh, zhongsheng is my bf *
me: oh
and he carries on.....

see it. when i'm in my own world feeling sleepy. prolly i was in a world without bf, so, i kinda forget his name at that point of time. this is also to tell you, if i response real slow to you in future, please bare with it. i need some time out to be in my own world after my work and study. i has became a habit man. it's pissing people off and i'm lovin' it.

MARCHE! all time favourite eversince AX days. steaks, creeps and disgusting huge saugage with cheese that bro put in his mouth! eeewww~

this is how you look when you don't have marche in canada. told you to stay in sg already.

mad day out.

that night was so fun. and i will never ever forget how ah lian i was despite wearing so formal. thank huh, bro and jen and the freaking shit cab!

AND LASTLY, PEOPLE, PLEASE LAUGH!

i'm really sorry, bro. you know i love you the most my entire life and i wouldn't wanna do this to you. but, yea! muahahaha!

that's the funny thing between melting me, jen, when someone tries to be a bitch, i don't know why, we could always be double of them. and that's probably why are we in such a good and loving terms. oh man! see, now i miss bitching and gossiping with you guys. and that bleedy jen's not back yet.

sorry mellie if my previous second post somehow affect you. i was just trying out something.

boyfriend and i are still happily together. sorry to disappoint you after so many times yea.

this is the freak which i have been mentioning all along.

mum, dad, auntie, uncle and so on, now you see him. told you there's nothing much. not handsome, not tall, not macho. (i'm dead)

i tell you people. i put mascara on my eye lashes. but he said: "eh, you put erm... glue on your eye lashes?" next, he has became melvin's legendary 'teh bao' king. then, he drools. yucks!

we still quarrel. was it counted as quarrel? 'cause we always get back happily after a few minutes or less than an hour. it's my fault. well, the problem is i couldn't change despite knowing this huge temper of mine. it's the medication lar! comfirm. i tried to be nice and everything to my family. but, if they said something which makes me repeat or like they ask what i wanna eat and i told them anything, they would ask "what is anything?" that's where it hits me. that's where my shouting comes.

back to work.
work is really stress these day 'cause i got nothing to do at all! i stare into space. i update the newspaper like forever. i go toilet uncountable times to waste some time, on the other hand, doing a little of exercising. i go coffee bean to chill. using the lappy to watch videos. taking trash to the other agt. AND THAT REALLY STRESS ME OUT! 'CAUSE I GOT NOTHING TO DO! i know i complain and get stress when i got alot of things to do. but i don't mind, 'cause that's when every day, every minutes and seconds are my money. now, i'm complaining and getting stress over doing nothing at work! 'cause every day, every minutes and seconds, i don't get money! i know this is insane complaining that my job is too relaxing. but it's really stress to be relax.

"XIAO MEI, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR LEG?!"
*sighs & poutings* "infection lor." with a damn sad face.

i have become an exhibit for most people in office. or rather my leg. and they will go:

"aiyo! why like that? got see doctor not? i think better go see doctor."
"wah. some people ugly already lor." (leg doesn't matter actually, UNCLE ken.)
"why so swollen?"
"how come like that?"
"it's BLEEEEEEEEDING."
"the beleeding is not stopping."
"you shouldn't sit with your leg crossed. it will affect the infection."
"eeeewwww." (seriously, wtf.)

uncle tim, uncle, winnie, alvin and jeff are seriously drop dead fan of my infection.

anyway, i got a shock of my life at 3.11pm today. while i was teaching winnie and uncle tim how to use the photoshop, my phone rang twice. i thought it was my mum so i ignore it. (LOL!) it kept ringing so i went to pick it up,

"xiao mei, take the case which is on the table and go for completion! NOW! the buyers and sellers are already there."

A HUGE QUESTION MARKS SMACK INTO MY HEAD!

HUH?!

i was staring blanking at alvin who was telling me nonsense. next, i realised he's also an agt so, i asked him how to take the queue number. and A HUGE QUESTION MARKS SMACKED RIGHT INTO HIS HEAD TOO. the last thing on my mind was jeff, all i could think was him and he is the only one who can help me. i flew to his desk and for how god love me, my saviour jeff came to office and he was right there, sitting and talking nonsense.

he showed me his huge helping hand. aww~ glad he came. if not i'll be dead. seriously dead. i will be walking to the 2nd level of HDB Hub, blankly with millions of huge question marks. i might be ended up talking trash to the buyer too. screwing up everything. so, lucky jeff came.

work, studies and relationship.

i get stress from work. i get stressed up with my stress. and i get stressed over my relationship.
i hate it.

so, i had a lot of thoughts last night. finally, i made a conclusion.

i cannot give up my studies, it help me to fulfill my future needs. i cannot give up on my work 'cause i need the experience for my future job.

relationship? yea, i intend to give up my relationship if i really couldn't cope with this three any longer. i's not that i longer like him or what. label me as selfish. i don't know. whatever is creating a huge blockage to what i wanna achieve in future, i couldn't keep them/it for long.

maybe i have grown. maybe i'm not the girl whom everyone knows any longer. maybe i changed because of 'usually'. maybe i change with the environment i'm in. i guess it's all that changed me.

'usually' gave me the thought that there's really so nice guy out there. it's okay if he had not chose me to be his gf but some other girl in a pub, i seriosuly don't mind. yet, whenever his gf is not around, he send me this "my gf is not staying at my house today, you wanna meet me for dinner?" a guy whom i used my entire life to love him, he was just like my soul tattoo and i thought he was so perfect till he sent me this. have he ever thought if his gf is doing the same thing behind him, how would he feel?

'cause of what shadow this soul tattoo of mine has casted, i realise, there is no longer anyone nice in this world. no one should be easily trusted. i totally lost hope in guys.

the enviroment i'm living in now is totally materialistic. how can i not get influence with them? i'm so motivated to earn hell lots to achieve what i want. that's my first priority.

i lost hope in guys and i'm first priority is to achieve what i want. so, how could i get into a relationship in the first place? i should stay single. i hear voices in my agreeing what i said.

i'm really tired. i'm not happy. i made this decision, i don't know if i will regret it, i seriously don't know. all i know is, i want to achieve what i have always wanted for my future.


this is not the life i want any longer.

Rules of the Taggy Quiz:
A] People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.
B] Tag 8 people to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by. Continue this game by sending it to other people.

Here are my answers:

#1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
stay in my own world for a few minutes, then, GOOD-BYE JERK.

#2. If you can have a dream come true, what would it be?
can i have 2 dreams? 1) get me to LA right now! 2) penthouse at The Sail please~ can i have 3 dreams? heh!

#3. If you could be at one place right now, where would it be?
LA la! shopping happily at Victoria''s Secret.

#4. Are you confused as to what lies ahead of you?
not really. i have made my future plans. a little confuse at times, when things now don't go my way. it makes me get panic to realise that achieving what i want in future is not an easy job. so, i ended up getting to stressed up and hand tremble like electric chair, and venting all my anger on my family and bf. really sorry. it's not totally my fault, it's the medicine i'm talking now, yea.

#5. What's your ideal lover like?
someone who's like my bf but much more taller and macho. (i'm dead)

#6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
being loved by someone, of course! and of course, loving someone. LOL!

#7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?
no point waiting. i waited and wasted my time. move on, idiots.

#8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
good-bye, once love.

#9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?
EVERYTHING. i'm serious. i get pissed off with the slighest thing. it's the medicine that cause it. i didn't want to.

#10. What do you want most in life?
a pefect life.

#11. Is being tagged fun?
someone forced me to do so! if not my she will be sibei sad. see, she smiling now!

#12. How do you see yourself in ten years time?
top producer. overriding of 20k for a month. big advertisment all over the strait times. trash elaine lee. damn famous in real estate. investing in some business which i have no idea what will that be. senior vice president of some real estate company BUT never HSR. bless with one sweet baby GIRL. and a loving, understanding husband. staying in some newly launched projects in city area.

#13. Who is the current most important person to you?
myself.

#14. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
what could i ever think? she's my love for god sake!

#15. Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?
seriously, i don't mind being single and rich. i don't have to rely on a man. who says being single cannot be happy? it's totally crap!

#16. If you could have any animal for a pet, what would it be ?
a puppy that will never grow into a dog.

#17. What are one of those things which you would prefer not to do?
taking the MRT. fuck MRT. dirty, smelly. totally digusting.

#18. What kind of person do you think you are?
damn friendly to people who i see them as money. super bad temper. (like i said, it's not what i want to be. it's the medicine.) damn violent but always pretend to not be one. annoying. straightforward. bitch. super focus when i wanna learn something.

#19. What do you define as a bad day?
not getting enough of sleep. which also means i have bad day everyday.

#20. If you have to choose between love and friendship, what would it be?
this is stupid.

1) kayden
2) coeus
3) serena
4) tomtom


THAT'S IT!

AND the wait is finally over, 'high pitch's' precious lil princess is out today. how i wish i was in the hospital to be the first few to get to see his princess.

she's so much alike her brother. look at her mouth. aww~ i'm so gonna go visit her tomorrow. i don't care if the operation hurts till i couldn't walk, i seriously don't care, i'm so gonna see her by tomorrow. gonna pester adrian to stop working and get our ass off the chair and fly over to see her.

THREE CHEERS TO PRECIOUS EN RU!!!

welcome to the world little girl.

OPERATION TOMORROW!
drop dead scared! damn it!

just when i was so confident to tell TNA that i'm also getting iphone, this came out,

SUMSUNG OMNIA

freaking shit $1,098. this is totally, totally insane. while 'high pitch' was there comparing and explaining why ipod is better, i keep telling him that this phone is EVEN better. and when he can't defeat me, he always ends the conversation with 'PI AH!

i think i should start packeting to move over to daniel's house. I TOTALLY CAN'T WAIT TO! the thought of it still excite me even though it was planned a month ago. i'm going to daniel's place, i'm going to daniel's place, place, place.

today was pretty relax at work. photoshop was my bestfriend at work. i did 3 flyers. i will be out next week at punggol, sengkang, tampines and of course, almost the whole of geylang. wee~ can't really imagine that so many people in singapore is gonna see my work and the next moment, it will be dump into the rubbish bin or used to throw fish bones. that's the sad thing.

i tell you, TNA is full of insane people. i swear and that was why i'm in TNA too. they are way too sweet and nice to the max. now, they way i talk, is so much like them. i like it when almost all the TNA is in the office. one thing is cause: they are always praising me. i have no idea why too. they just praise the things i do. AND IT'S AN EVERYDAY THING. imgine that!

BUT, i really like them so so so muuuccccccccccccch.

and today, uncle alferd asked if i'm the coordinator, and sylvester told him that i'm the PA, they were arguing about my position till they offically announced to everyone that PA stands for Public Assistant. which means, i'm everyone's Personal Assistant. so, they were fighting over me like:

uncle alferd: original(regina), you have to help me do this and this today okay.

slyvester: don't disturb her, she will be very busy 'cause she has signed the contract for F1 with me.
uncle alferd: you help me do this, i give you commission.(still not giving up)

slyvester: ALFERD!

me: i'm totally devoted to MAG.

one more thing, i'm so so so so proud with MAG. they got promoted twice this year! it's just only june. 6 months 2 promotions. MARKETING DIRECTOR NOW. CONGRATS! i was so excited about it as if i was the one being promoted. 'high pitch' was so calm, he was not even happy la. i was like:

me: eh, you see this flyer colour can not? *walked away to do other things*

high pitch: xiao mei, wrong already. (ya, for you infor, no one calls my name in office. the only name being called was 'xiao mei.'

me: HUH! WHERE?(damn panic. cause 6pm already, i'm suppose to go home, no more editings.)

high pitch: not senior marketing manger, it's marketing director.

me: WOW! REALLY AH? WHY YOU NEVER TELL ME? OKAY! I KNOW ALREADY. I MUST PUT THE TITTLE DAMN BIG IN THE FLYER. (damn excited)

high pitch: shen jing bin.

me: why? MARKETING DIRECTOR LEH. AI SEH MAN!

high pitch: bu yao bai chi leh. (up 5 key.)

Lastly,

LOTS OF LOVE TO TNA!

I'M ALL OVER THE SAIL @ MARINA BAY

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, GIVE ME A UNIT IN THE SAIL @ MARINA BAY TO STAY!!


i don't mind it it's a just studio or 2 room, 3 room, 4 room or even a penthouse(best of all choices). JUST GIVE ME A HOUSE TO STAY OVER THERE!











TELL ME! how to resist this project! it's totally full SEA VIEW. no painting, all full height windows to prevent the sea water from corroding the paints(so thoughtful). it's RIGHT OPPOSITE CASINO. a central park tower on the 34th storey with an exclusive club lounge. and A SKY GARDERN ON THE 44TH STOREY!

man, this project is feaking shit asking for $3Kpsf. which means it can go up to $5M.

it's okay if you think the sail @ marina bay is expensive. what do you expect? it's one of the best project ever.

ANYBODY WANNA BUY FOR ME?! it's TOP-ing in 2011. i can wait! i swear!

or maybe you wanna get it for youself? I WOULD BE SO HAPPY TO HELP YOU FIND THE BEST HOUSE YOU WOULD EVER WANT.


i love this too.

Hillcrest Villa

i doubt i need to give more details. it's fantabulous! anyway, they are selling at $3M.

anybody wanna buy? TOP in 2010!

look at the time now! i need to wake up at 9am to work and still not asleep yet! it's tomorrow and next week's plan that excite me.

1) my ever-waiting kungfu panda.
2) PC show for my laptop!! (eventually!)
3) the arrival of En Ru, whilst getting to see Shao Heng.
4) gonna go grandpa's place, so i get to see my super duper cute niece.
5) going to chase my money back. (sounded like a loanshark) might be creating a scene there. not gonna give any face any longer. CAN'T WAIT TO!
6) no 'high pitch' in office for the whole month!! which means, CAN GO HOME EARLY.
7) shopping after work!! no need to stay in office to suffer telemarker craps. HOLY GOD!
8) boyfriend gonna go office on monday!!
9) DFLY, SATURDAY! (all long awaiting) club till siao LOR!
10) booking of chalet for the whole TNA!
11) boyfriend quits smoking month! muahaha!


how to sleep?!

"how did you manage your job and studies together?" they asked.
people start praising me when they know i started off my day from 10am-9pm almost everyday. they envy me. they encourage me. they pity me somehow. and they go"if my daughter or son is half of you, how good will that be?"

doctors asked me to stop it. i will like risking my health.

BUT! if i don't work hard for money now, i wouldn't be able to achieve what i want in future. i'm doing this for myself. not anyone else. no, not even my family. just myself.

bigger lady boss and bigger boss praised me in front of the whole table today. they told 'high pitch' to teach me whatever they can. i won't make their efforts go down the drain. i admit that it does create a greater stress in me. 'cause everyone have the faith in me. even the taxi drivers and strangers.

i like this family i found. not 'cause they apraise me like everyday. i really feel so much belonged. so much better than the previous one. every gathering is a lesson being learnt. every time, there will always be people who wanna take me away from 'high pitch.'

i hope 'high pitch's' baby girl will be due. so that i can go to the hospital and work cum play with shao heng and his newly due baby girl. awww~

the one who brought life into our family - my niece, raine koh.

okay, she like more 2 months old already and this was the very first time i see her. i don't even know when she was borned. that was how terrible i am being her aunt. i'm the last in the entire family tree to see her. how horrible.

she really soo sooo soooooooo super duper cute. look at her big eyes. and look at the small hands with those tiny fingers.

ain't she cute? there's no way you will say NO.

i really couldn't bare to part with her to meet some milo's friend guy. i didn't even get the chance to carry her!!! ROAR!!! i wanna carry her. but i'm just afraid i might break her bones. she's really soft. even touching her freaks me out, thinking that i might hurt her and SHE WILL CRIES!

i have totally no idea why i'm at office at this time. i have nothing to do at all. i have been surfing the net since 9am. this is crazy. i got nothing to do which makes me get so worried.

GONNA MEET YOUNGEST BITCH LATER! WEEE~~ when are we meeting huh, oldest and second bitch?

pay day was like 6 days ago and it's been a really poor week for me already. i haven't gave my mum money yet, but, 1 more week and money flows into my account. wee~ this time is way so much better. 2 groups of money flowing into my account. 1 more week to being rich. YEAH!!! 4 more days to rich queky. next saturday is shopping for the rich girls. next thursday is facial. next friday is after exam celebration for rich girls. and 1 weeks later, it's a rest week for poor me('cause spend all on boyfriend and me.) but richest day for queky. but 1 week later, it's rich me again. muahahaha!

money really makes one boost their confident level. 1 more week.

gucci sales is on already.

queky loves me. A loves me. A's wife loves me. M loves me. Angela loves me. Andrew loves me. sharon loves me. irene loves me. noor loves me. yiling loves me. china girl loves me. cherry loves me. bigger boss and his wife love me. jeff loves me. anthony loves me. kiasheng loves me. slyvester loves me. uncle david loves me. jennifer loves me. jenny loves me. alvin loves me. biggest boss loves me. ken loves me. 9 kong loves me. brandon loves me. jay loves me. daniel loves me. and my boyfriend loves me.

i see no reason that i will ever ever plan to leave this company. MA.G asked me to work for them till 40 and they will get me a car~~~

SISSOR PAPER STONE!!
we were playing this so happy, ignoring others who are eating right beside us. i know it's really really childish but that's what couples always do, right? stupid stuffs. the purpose was that who lose has to pay the bills. i won, of course and he dragged himself to the cashier. LOL! i cheated anyway.

okay lar, i pay for the oil this thursday also lor.

he bought n82. initially, he was considering n95(stupid phone) and n82(another stupid phone but obviously better than n95). so, at the counter, we were arguing over this issue right in front of the sales guy and to stop us from arguing, the sales guy brought out the 2 phones. i'm a total anti-n95 and so, i demand him to get n85 no matter what. heh! he's worshipping it now i guess. i went off to change my pants and ho-ho-ho told me that the sales guy told him: "your girlfriend very powerful." geees.

he's gonna sign contract with me for quitting smoking. a lifetime one. finally, quitting smoking. muahahaha!

i don't know why. when i'm with him, the whole world seems to be just me and him.

i hope queky feels the same way for 'ahem' too. queky, i know you will be reading this tomorrow at 3pm, might be beside me, i don't know. don't cry okay. =)

i'm serious. no point now. really. an example, "usually" comes and go, the way like what they did to you. i really liked him liked him alot, like my entire life. you know how i feel for him too. he still comes back now, at times, i got stucked with the things he said. but i realised, it's going nowhere for us. he can go dig the sweetest talks that ever exist on earth for you to hear. deep down in you, feel it, who's the one who is truthful to you. yes, i know, the feeling is still there. me too. move on. you will never know if the next one will be better. don't always miss it because of the same old problem. why get yourself in a delimma? come on, what industry are you working at now? wake up, you know all these are just craps. it's just the feelings. one thing girl, feelings can change anytime when you met the right one. i'm not helping anymore to speak now. just from my views, and all the nonsense i ever had, move on. live with the right man, love the right man. come on baby, use your working skills to judge.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAY MY MELLIE DARLING!!!


it's really okay to be old. 'cause you get to act really cute now. LOL!

see you soon. love you baby!!!

you see you see. the ah pui is in office already. i cannot stand his voice anymore. "okay okay okay ooooooookay ooooooooooooooooooookay." IT'S ENOUGH! don't make my stuff hamburgers into your mouth.

enough la freak. how many times must i say? can i sop giving you fake smile? cause you might cause me to loose my job. it's okay if you took my list and acted like it was yours. it's okay if you created a blog that "hello, did i just read MA.G's blog which i created?" and you still can freaking shit show it to me right in front of my face. i spend my entire week doing it and you freaking shit rip everything over in just a day.

seriously now, what's the point of comparing how many leads MA.G has? it doesn't makes any differences if you doesn't have so many. you still earn okay freak.

i'm just nothing in office actually. i earn peanuts. you earn huge money. i'm just freaking 20 and you are 20 something. i admit i have more experience than you. but come on, i'm just a small fly. what's so good about my stuffs that you would wanna copy?

just shut up for once is it okay? your voice is seriously damn irritating. i don't care if you read my blog or not, (if you remember my link) just stop being a photocopying machine. enough is enough. i have my limits. don't make my squeeze out all your fats. stop being so hypocrite in fornt of MA.G. stop pulling other people into the picture.

get on with your life. move man. no point comparing. you are just lousy if you don't have leads. that's it idiot. and now, stop using the phone to call and stop talking like me. nabei!

ya i know my coughing is really irritating and i think everyone is praying for me to recover soon cause it seriously affect their job. it's been a month. i think they are so gonna throw me out of office soon and change the password. =(

i know i have alot of people reading my blog. what's so interesting anyway? you hate me and wish me dead so you read my blog. you love me to max so you read my blog. you doesn't know me and you read my blog.

so, you, ah pui, better stop it. it's enough. have your brains and not mine. i have alot of photocopying machines in office. i don't need another one. thank you.

what are you trying to compare now? what's the point actually? get on with you life man, come on.


i saw mellie yesterday. but when will i get see ting and jen huh huh huh?!

sigh, when's the bitches gonna ransake the house ever again? miss that night so much. cause they are always talking about my favourite topic. LOL! just kidding la. cause it was the night the 4 of us get together what! i think we should be like the actress in sex and the city, they meet up like so often even when they are so busy la. unfair. in new york city more relaxing meh? OKAY, i know i know, it's a movie.

but i totally love this movie ending for the drama they acted. it's my all time favourite. gucci, prada, LV, channel, dior, polo, fendi, and so on la. the list go on.

i have customers who have their LV and Gucci. it's seems that LV and Gucci are really big shit for them. they talked so proud and complain for my improfession. nabei! damn these old women. SO WHAT IF YOU HAVE GUCCI & LV? don't you know that, agt at showflat doesn't really serve them. cause it's not hermes and channel. get it? LV, GUCCI, is nothing, old women who wants to buy a pathetic 3-rm flat.

anyway, back to boyfriend again. yes, i know. it's AGAIN. i can't help it. i love ho-ho-ho today and yesterday. for yesterday, it's cos he paid my stuffs for me and he accompanied me for sex and the city along with queky and her new next boyfriend, leon. (OH SHIT!) hmm, i wasn't sure if it's willingly, but yea, he paid, so i love him. as for today, how to put it? erm, sweet? cause we talked like we never talked? make it this way, i just love him. of course it's not cause he paid for my stuffs and so i love him. you know, i love him everyday and more each day. so, yea.

we watched chocolate. it's a disgusting movie cause THEY CHOP TOES!! and that freak love it so much when the dumb girl fights. totally nonsense. lucky we didn't spend it in the cinema. don't watch it. it's a total waste of money. totally turned off la.

you know, of my boyfriend's entire life, he only complains about 4 things to me: army life(which is over. yeah!), when the auntie down his block cut his hair, no money and lastly, the chicken chop. it's totally ridiculous. he complains like a girl and i have to always cool him down. see, i'm the man.

OH YEAH! my boyfriend reads my blog. *waving vigorously* HELLO BOYFRIEND!! =) can see me?
you better wake up huh, freak. or you wanna come office to LEARN some stuff FROM ME?

TO THAT ONE GUY I LOVE,

I HATE YOU, FREAK! ASSHOLE.

WITH LOTS OF LOVES,

ME!

told you. despite how mad am i with him, i still love him.

i love the things we do together. i love the way i pinch him. i love the way we fight. i love the way we argue. i love the way he pisses me off. i love the way when i kick his butt. i love the way he said "look out for cars LAH!" i love the way he says he love me. i love the way we talk. i love the way i talk to my friends about him non-stop. i love the way i tell "them" i'm waiting for him. i love the way people wanna check out who my boyfriend is. i love the way i slap him. i love the way when he gets irritated. i love the way he looks at me. i love the way he talks to me when he knows he's at fault. i love the way we spend together after a long day out. i love the way when he brings me out with him friends. i love the way he put his arms around me. i love the way i wait for him after work. i love the way when we end work together. i love it when he sits beside me. i love the way he holds my hand. i love the way he kisses me. i love the way he talks nothing but the same whole craps he has. BORING. i love it when he gets angry. i love it when he says "okay!" to everything i request. i love the way i behave when i'm with him. and i love the way i am as his girlfriend. BUT,

i really hate him quite a bit, at times.

and, he is the one guy whom i love.

ALRIGHT BITCHES, LET'S GET THE NIGHT READY. THE PARTY WILL BE STARTING SOON. LET'S ROCK THE ROOM TILL MORNING!

SEE YOU BITCHES.

you know, there are alot of chinese vampires movies or dramas that scripted that when a vampire wanna become a human, they have to suck hundreds or thousands or millions humans blood.

very surprisingly, there's actually someone(a man) who believes that by eating 108 lizards, he can become a deity. so, he was always hunting for live lizards and cut them half with his teeth and swollow it down.

so, when the officers interviewed him, he said he has already eaten 50, he needs 58 more.

and of course, he didn't become any deity la. oh ya! he look very much alike lizard too.


SOMEBODY, PLEASE GO PRAY WITH ME. I MADE ALOT OF SINS. LKK PLEASE GIVE ME MY MONEY NOW! I NEED TO MAKE DONATIONS. I AM SINFUL, I AM REALLY GUILTY. I'M A GREAT LIAR. I HATE IT!

sometimes, i really think i got one of the sweetest guy one earth. BECAUSE....
we were at dam yesterday and out of nowhere, i had gastric ache. so, he went jalan kayu to packet mee goreng for me alone.

sometimes, i really think i got one of the most clumsy and blur guy. BECAUSE...
i was so happy to see him back with my food. yet when he opened the box, the whole mee goreng's oil was covering my bag and his box. that was because he didn't tie the plastic tight and when he corner, the whole things spilled out of the plastic bag. then, everyone was there relaxing and i was there's clearing up the mess, alone. and he bloody shit can relax and talk to his friends. so, his friend said i'm there to actually clean his box.

sometimes, i really think i got an asshole. BECAUSE...
when we reach dam, he went straight to talk to his friend and leaving me there alone. do what? count how many stars in the sky lor. at least the couple was there to accompany me.

EVERYTIME, i really think i got a demanding and sickening guy. BECAUSE...
he is really one. you wouldn't wanna know. okay, maybe one example. like dying the same hair colour. yea, we got the same hair color now. he even ask me to stand in front of the mirror to see if it's the same. god! i can kill him at times. you wouldn't wanna know how hard i hit him.

just recently, i think i got one of the nicest guy. (this could be a bit of a no link) BECAUSE....
we were sleeping and out of nowhere i couldn't control, i'm gonna sneeze. i don't know why, i turned to him and sneeze right at his face. you know la, sometimes, you really wanna sneeze but you just couldn't turn fast to another direction. it's was pretty funny the way he react but he wasn't angry at all. AND ALSO, there this one day when i was really tired during work, i wanted to request to go home and rest but a bit paiseh. 'cause i took mc they day before. you know what, i guy handed me his keys to ask me go his place and rest. SO NICE RIGHT.

still, i don't know why, i'm still so willing to stick to him till this very day. there's really uncountable times when i really got tired of this relationship and seriously giving up. that's was 'cause i was having depression not really very serious but yea, on medication still. i'm at fault too, i didn't tell him. that was also 'cause both of us work like shit everyday and we really didn't have time to meet. the only time we meet is only weekends and that's doesn't means that we will be meeting. imagine a whole week of not meeting and i'm having depression. so, yea, i gone crazy the other time, i guess. it's really good that today is a holiday, so, at least, the both of us can spend a weekday together.

i think we wouldn't be meeting this week till friday or even saturday. i hate saturdays. i end work at 2 or 3 and he promised me that he would fetch me after work FOR SURE. unfortunately, it always ended up that i will be at knocking his window to wake him up. imgaine having him greet me with his smelly mouth every saturday, i can seriously faint after my tough day at work. LOL! anyway, he said he's gonna duplicate his keys for me so that i can ransack his room. no la, so that i can go his house and rest when i end work early or i'm really sleepy while shopping. meanwhile, i'll be acting as a maid cleaning up his room for him, all over again.

but still, i love him.

i see myself shopping for him and not myself.

anyway, my queky and i was laughing the whole day with my broken chinese and stupid imagination.

ade, 我们自己人, 每一次出门shopping自己一个人很 sian hor. then 你 imagine, 那些 pigeons, 每一次都是自己一个, 不会绝得很 lonely meh? then, 它们 walk aimlessly, 不知道要走去那里, 就去这个树那个树, then 看到別的 pigeons, 就会说: "我们不是在那个树一起大便过吗?"

i tell you, after this my queky seriously wanna smack me real hard. i don't know what's in me that made me being so curious for the pigeons' feelings.

2.5kg gone. just by sitting down in the office everyday. imagine i'm without make-ups now. i looked like ghost. i'm serious. totally white face. no appetite for food. just drinking 1 week ago water and surviving with leftovers from last week's chocolate. in fact, i'm forcing the chocolate down my throat. now, i fucking feel like puking.

know something, i actually, slept in the kitchen last night while waking up for my medicine. actually, it was cause i couldn't breathe out of a sudden. did i fainted or i slept, i wasn't sure too. so, yea, i slept till i was feeling cold and woke up back to my bed. no one knows too.

my hand numb, it's trembling. can imagine whatever is on my hand will shake too. even msging. people actually looked at me in the train, like i'm a werido. assholes. i have to fold my arms so that i weren't look like a werido.

gonna go see the doctor later. not gonna let anyone in the family knows. it's better if i keep it to myself. so, no one gets worried. hopefully, refers me to some god-made doctors. get my health back into on piece!

okay, it's still trembling like so electric chair while type this shit in office. yea, sick and still working in office. shit ass. and now, i'm like trying to breathe in oxygen like i have never breathed before.

gonna go sleep on my desk now till 130 and off i go.

i'm really tired.

i don't know what to do. what's on my mind actually? i wanna find somewhere peaceful. just sit there alone and not think of anything. i wanna sleep. i wanna stop thinking of anything. i'm really tired. i've got no more strength.

i tired of myself, work, relationship, studies, family and life.

i hate myself. i hate work. i hate my relationship. i hate my studies. i hate my family not being understanding. i hate my life for being so fucked up.

i hate stress. i know my hand has been trembling like some sort of sickness 'cause i'm really stress to the point where i can't take it anymore.

i'm tired. tired of getting all the shit from everyone. doing things people don't even appreciate at all and expecting more. i'm not a machine. i need a break at times. i don't like them demanding me to do things i hate.

i'm tired of my body. the cramps i have the whole day. the suddenly dizziness. the sudden blackout. the amount of medicine i have been taking. the pale lips. the fucking pale face without make-up, i look fucking sick. the office's air con is freezing me to death yet they complained that it's too humid.

i tired of my relationship. this is the greatest sin i made.

what have i been thinking? i actually walked aimless today. what was on my mind? i was purely just looking at the floor of vivo. i looked aimless on the train. who or what am i looking at?

i hate being someone else to cover my weakness. why do i have fake the strong side of me? being the bubbly girl in office, so everyone thinks i'm happy and i get to do all the shit again, all pile up for me to settle.

i'm not happy at all. i wish i didn't have this kind of life. i wish i didn't get to meet him. i wish i didn't get this job. i wish i could stop being someone else. i wish i could have a better life. at least better than now. i wish i didn't have to go to school. i wish i were healtier.

i hate the life in singapore. i hate the people being so typical, brainless. what a hopeless society. fucking young kid doesn't knows how to give up his seat to old lady yet i being so much i pain had to give up mine. typical kiasu people pushing people in front into the train, for fuck? does the pushing helps to get you in the train faster? dumb. typical singapore who send unreadable english msg me and i have to fucking call back and ask what they meant, ended up getting scolded for "simple msg also don't understand." asshole. what does "ok. come" means? i hate people seeing an empty space yet still wanna squeeze into my space. how the fuck am i going to walk? i hate people walking so damn fucking slow. don't they have brains like if they are walking s-l-o-w-l-y, please kindly move to another side of the pathway and not blocking my way. i hate people who thinks i doesn't have the damn money to pay. f that auntie. "can change the drinks?" "can, extra money." "can add this?" "can, need to pay extra." cheebye! need me to show you how much i got not! fucking realistic world. how could people survive so long?

i tired of everything. i wanna rest. i wanna go somewhere just to be alone. i need some time for myself. 'cause i have stopped understanding myself. i need to find myself back. i don't wanna be somebody else.

imagine having something 3cm small in your body. HOW CUTE. and you will never know how big it will grow. worse if you don't even know if the medicine the doctor gave does helps.

i'm scared. why am i not?



wanted to let it out so much in the office when i told queky. i knew she would react the way i would reacted. that's my bestfriend. of cos, today is the big day in office, i wouldn't wanna spoil everything. so, yea.

damn fucking dulan la! fuckermania!


what's with the world these days. so many people without their own opinions, ideas, point of views, concepts, judgements. come on, be innovative assholes. stop imitating.

i met 2 today.

(1) someone's been stalking my life. for what? move on. what's so wonderful about looking back at the past? it's okay if you stalk me like you're totally fallen for me. you needn't have to imitate me. get a life, fool. and again, MOVE ON. anyway, be innovative please. no ripping.


(2) please, whatever i left on the table is not meant to be copied! can you have your own idea on how to do your list? not copying exactly the same as mine. damn. it's my idea. my own planning. it's me, i came out with the format, the ideas, the whole concepts. it's mine stuffs! worse, imitating the way we speak too. please fucking stop talking like me on the phone. for the aunties, stop acting cute. there's no way you can do to replace me in office. i'm the youngest. so what! what's wrong with it? it doesn't mean that you can copy my hard work and use it for your own. chee beh! imagine i rip off whatever you did, just like how the above stalker and you freaks did, how will you feel? you invade my privacy, my rice bowl. now, you took my list. i didn't even fucking went over to your place to peep any shit you got. what else do you all want?

you want my list? beg me. i might consider selling you the better ones.

why the more i avoid thinking how it used to be, the more i couldn't forget how everything went. why till this very day, it's still the same.

if we could turn back time, will it still be this way?

it really makes me ponder and ponder how could i ever fall for him. he wasn't even the one i'm looking for yet he did it. congrats, ho!

he can make me hate him to max and the next moment, fall in love with him all over again. that's the thing i hate. he always has his ways to handle me. i hate it when he knows my weakness.

can you imagine, i was pissed off with him cause he can see him clothing and i cannot. that's cause we were rushing for our movie. see a while will die meh? so, i got irritated and stopped talking to him. then, he got really irritated when i didn't answer his questions so he said this in the cinema: "you not happy to talk to me then i leave now la!" wah piang eh. damn man la!

(sometimes, i really like to make him get piss off with me. so man la. i actually did it on purpose quite a lot of times.) sssshhhhhhhhh.

*** see, i was just looking at my cellphone and he called. ***
poor boy, still at work. think his pay this month will be quite thick. yeah yeah!!!

he thinks that i like someone else. such an insecure freak despite the fact that i tried all my ways to convince him that "NO!" for god's sake. yet, he still goes on everyday. worse, when i didn't talk to him. he will start having imaginations. so sensitive.

he doesn't like me to go out with my friends. and when i told him "i'm meeting my friends." he goes "FOR WHAT!" asshole. but his "for what" really damn man la. LOL!

i hate it when soccer and his bike seems more important than me. especially soccer. he could have totally forget about me. i admit, i do get jealous over soccer. he could have marry the soccer channels.

when i asked him if i can go club during the weekends. damn, it's gonna be the last day i survive on earth. i don't understand why i can't go la! he used to allow me. okay, i know, that was 'cause we haven get together and he couldn't do much shit about it. when i asked him why he doesn't allow, his answer was: "later other guys touch you."

-______________________-"

what an answer.

damn 大男人. it's all him assuming and i have to accomodate his assumings.

but it's okay if i don't get to club. it would be so much better if i use all the time to spend with him. 'cause we meet like only 30 pathetic minutes every weeks days. ROAR! so for 5 days, it will be 2 and a half hour only. minus away thursday, 'cause it's my off day, it will be just freaking shit 2 damn hours only. i don't even dare to imagine when it rains for the whole week.

despite all the terrible sights of him(LOL!) he still so sweet to me. he brings me out willingly. he surprises me. when i said i'm hungry, he will packet for me.(or was it home delivery?) he was even more sweet when he ask me to clean him room like his maid girlfriend.

and after this shit post, i still have no idea why i fell for him.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TING TING TING!

loveloves.

he said he will be giving me half of his pay! (YAY!) to keep (asshole).

guess it's better off this way. at least he will have the cash for his future job which require a sum of money to be out, in order for more to come in. i don't know if this job will eventually be helping him alot or it will just waste his time. if he succeed, great for him. but if he fails, i'm like the killer. i was the one who encourage him to get into this line, he's so gonna hate me. hopefully, he succeed, and get his dreams. and of course, i'll be helping him. see, i'm the women behind the man.

anyway, work's really been very tiring. along with studies. tomorrow is holiday which is also my off day. damn it. a public holiday that doesn't seems to be like one.

i was pretty lonely to be in office, both out, winnie's disappeared. imagine i do self entertainment in office to keep myself wake. i do talk alot, way more than i usually do when i'm sleepy.

i actually slept in the office while keying the datas into the computer when no one was around. so, they actually, woke me up when they were back. i really do have alot of datas to type into the bloody damn computer everyday that my eyeballs are moving closer to each other. there was this one day when i was drop dead tired, like crawling around the office the whole day and they asked me to key in the datas. great, the more i keyed, the more mistake i made, and the next moment, i realised, i was actually, sleeping with my eyes opened for the past few seconds, long seconds till my phone rang which i jumped up. god bless. and when people were talking to me, i'm looking at them, stare with extra huge eyes that my eyeballs gonna drop, so as not to leak out my tiredness, but i wasn't listening at all.

oh ya! he started his job, like finally. we will be meeting for lunch every single shit day. he promised. (oh, did he actually promised? was i too tired that day, that i was having a short world of mine, thinking that he promised?) whatever, i'll make him promise. anywhow, it's okay if he doesn't, 'cause my queky gonna be back in my arms. YAY! that's the best damn thing. i wouldn't be so lonely anymore and she can go lunch with me. i bet that thick skin freak would wanna join us too, he can't bare not to see me for a day. just like me!

the deepest,

I would have given you all of my heart
But there's someone who's torn it apart
And he's taken just all that I had
But if you want I'll try to love again
Baby I'll try to love again but I know

The first cut is the deepest
Baby I know the first cut is the deepest
But when it come to being lucky he's cursed
When it come to loving me he's the worst

I still want you by my side
Just to help me dry the tears that I've cried
And I'm sure going to give you a try
And if you want
I'll try to love again

Baby I'll try to love again but I know
The first cut is the deepest
Baby I know the first cut is the deepest
But when it come to being lucky he's cursed
When it come to loving me he's the worst

I still want you by my side
Just to help me dry the tears that I've cried
But I'm sure gonna give you a try
'cause if you want I'll try to love again
Baby I'll try to love again but I know

The first cut is the deepest
Baby I know the first cut is the deepest
When it come to being lucky he's cursed
When it come to loving me he's the worst

why do couples marry when they will divorce eventually?

i was thinking randomly and they came to my mind.

they have been together for 5 years and eventually, planned to settle down. they prepared everything, invitations sent out. unfortunatly, a couple of days before the big day, unexpectedly, the almost-newly-weds had some reflections about themselves and a huge quarrel fired out. well, best solution was to break-up 'cause it seems that there no way they could live with each other anymore. it's too late. they had paid for the wedding dinners, couldn't make last minutes cancelations. hopelessly, they go on with the wedding so as not to disappoint their families, friends and relatives.

knowing that there's no other way out for them. what would people think when a newly-wed decided to go different ways just after a not mature marriage? they thought having a child might be able to salvage the whole marriage and the "hatred" between them. he tired to be the husband she wants him to be. she tried to be the wife he has always been wanting for. child was due, a huge resposibility for them. knowing that they couldn't give each other love, they plant it on their child. soon, the guy started heading home in last nights, at times, early mornings. all he does was to give the basic allowance to the mother and child. that's his way of showing his love to his child. he hang out till late. his child couldn't even remember how his dad look alike. he doesn't knows how well his child did in his exams, he doesn't ask, he doesn't know anything about the mother and child.

he found a new love. she's nice. they were in love of course. the ladyl knew he's married. she tried to shun him many times yet he kept holding her back. the love between was so strong that this carried on for years. the lady eventualy, woke up her mind, knowing that there wouldn't be a future for the both of them. each and everything the lady tired to speak her mind up, he guy would said he will divorce. months and months, where's the separation form? she left him eventually, yet he kept coming back.

what about his wife? doesn't he knows that she has always been waiting for his love to return? why would a women take such a high risk of having her man's child when she knows that there will be no future. she will only be left with the love from her child and not her man. the love that should be belong to her wasn't hers. she believes that having his child would bring him(love) back.

why would a lady willing to scarifice just for love? bearing his child even when she knows that he will never love her the way he did. she's willing to swallow the insults and gossips coming from others that he husband is having an affair outside. she suffered all alone. her parents know nuts about her marriage. she's in pain. but do she really need all these suffers? she could have left her man. why is she still staying?

then, a month married couple went searching for re-sales units. so excited and nervous to get their new house when the handed the agent their $1000 deposit. that was the best day of their life when they finally found a house, which means they are gonna have their own family. hand in hand, they went searching for banks to get their bank loan approval done. 3 days later, DBS accepted their request. 7 weeks later, along with the agents and sellers, they met at hdb hub to have their first appointment. papers signed. a little more steps to a new family.

2 months later, few days before the completion. the agent receive a call from them. "sorry, we couldn't buy that house anymore. we are divorcing." questionmarks flew everywhere.

why was the love so short?

i asked M, how did he knew that his wife was the one? he repiled: "when you know that without her , you will die." it seems like verbally nonsense. everyone can fall in love like they can die without the other party. whereas, it's partially true somehow.



so many people taking marriage like a game these days. how do we spend 3/4 of our life facing the same person everyday when you can get sick shit if you both meet everyday. so, how did your grandma and grandpa maintian their relationship? how did your mum and dad do it?

see, told you i hate school.

BIG TIME. asshole.

but it's good to have ho-ho-ho to send me to school. of course, nik too. bringing me to my class and allowing me to have half of his kid-size breakfast.

i manage to know 2 girls, who god knows what's their name. never mind. so, i went back to office and everyone was so happy to see me. told you, without me, it's lifeless everywhere. so, i told M that i made 2 new friends. and he said:

"so, did she lend you her pencil? did you all share books? did you all play hopscotch during recess?"

smackface!

there's this coordinator, she speaks english that i have a little hard time of understanding. she told us to take out the "decoration form" from the file given. so, i went flipping through looking for the "decoration form." i got really agitated 'cause i don't seems to have that particular paper that everyone has in their file. eventually, she took out and it was actually "letter of declaration" form. delcaration and decoration, it's so far apart. for every point she's gonna start of, she will say "now, i'm going to talk about......" ya, so she had 5 main points and they all started off in this manner. HOW BORING.

then, she introduced us about our course. she goes "for the first few models, you will......" ya, first few models, right. modules, my lady! lastly, she was talking about our GPA and she said: "we will divide the toto sum together........"

imagine someone representing the school speaking in this manner. unfortunately, she was the one only. if the rest were speaking in that manner too, image will be tarnish. i'm not saying that my english is spendid. i'm sure this isn't the first time she's doing this presentation thingy. come on, if you manage to be some coordinator of some schools, it proves that you have some skills in doing presentation which means confidence, speaking proper english, getting everyone to pay attention to what is being said and lastly, audience MUST understand what you are mumbling about. god grave.

met ho-ho-ho again. really feel like smacking him when i saw his bike. waste money again. but it's so damn gorgeous la. swear! stunning red red red. IT'S FREAKING SHIT RED. MY FAV.

I DON'T WANNA GO TO SCHOOL TOMORROW!!
mummy, i don't wanna go school.
i don't wanna go la!

yes, i'm whinning like some kid ass out there. just like how they cried when their mama first forced them into a primary school and so on. waving good-bye disheartedly while tears still flowing down their eyes, seeing only the back view of their parents fade. just how hesitant to step into a world whereby they know nuts about anyone around them. sat at a corner, just wanting to go home so, so much.

oh, please don't assume that i don't wanna go to school 'cause i'm going somewhere so foreign. come on. i meet like so many people. what are those in new school means to me? i don't even have the fugging shit intention of making 'new friends.' i'm serious. how new can they get when you only spend like 3 hours together. 10am-1pm, 3 freaking shit hours a day, it's perfectly slaying my time and money off. imagine the sum of money i could secure during this 3 hours. imagine the amount of work to be done within this 3 shit hours.

i hate school.
i think this is the zillion time i saying this. i'm really getting on everyone's nerves in the office. i bet they were very keen to kick my ass off the office, change the password and lock the door so, i wouldn't be able to access to stop my whinnings which affectted their working mood quite a bit more than usual, along with my totally no motivation soul. i was like crawling around aimlessly from 9-6. i did so many things. they really stucked my blood till i'm really dried up, get so agitated when piles of work keep heapping on my desk. that i don't even feel like talking. it's all 'cause, i'm going to school tomorrow.

well, my retest for econs is also affecting me. remodule. fuck. i don't want to la!

worse, i don't wanna go to school. i know i'm behaving like a child now. it's childish. BUT I JUST FUCKING DON'T WANNA GO! i would rather go to office at 9am than school at 10am.

i know it's futile to say this now when i have already paid my school fee on a very day that i have no intention at all to further my studies, totally reluctant.

you would voice out that "see, told you already, you won't want to go back to school after you work. with the sum of money you earn." OH-SO-TRUE, uh. so what? when i can earn the amount of half of my school fees just by closing ONE case from direct buyers and sellers. i said ONE! which is approximately 10K. i don't know LKK did co-broking for my mr poon poon's house or direct.

i miss those days when i'm so welcomed and loved by all the buyers in my buyer's list. especially my mr poon poon & wife. mr jason. orchid park mr ..... (what's his name?) oh, mr eddiee & daughter, her hubby & their baby. mr david's whole entire family for second son. mr kenneth. 187 mdm wong & husband. 116 10th floor corner EA entire family(i love that house), what's the name again? ahhh, mr vincent and family. mr kuah and mei qi. mr beng kiat and wife. mr roland. mr azan, who used to hate me and ended up cared so much for me. mr wilson. who's the man who bought gage's unit? mr... MR BERNARD! miss calling them. hearing their voice and meeting them. whilst on the other hand, playing with their kids. they love me.

though i don't really have my personal time when i got into this job. i don't care. 'cause this is so gonna be the job of my life. i learned alot. thanks to LKK for teaching me so much. creating a huge boost in my confident level, to be able to poise myself. well, also on how to communicate with people, to lie, to please, to build trust and rapport, to force, to make believe, to make things ethical so no one get hurts.

it's 21 next year! CEHA wait for me.

jacq, zainah, lina, patrick, darry, david, darren, michelle, alex loh/leow/chia, xiao bai, agnes, bryan, uncle victor, auntie susan, auntie anna, sj, joanne, jason, peter, guan ting, dephane, dave, andrew, jerry, chanel, victor, marcus, francis, valerie, kelvin, ron. nice working with them. nice working and having them in office.

i didn't really get to bade good-bye to them. so here is it.
bye, HSR.
bye, UD.

anyway, school's going to suck immensely big time!
i don't want tomorrow to come.

NIK NIK NIK!!!



yeah! gonna meet nik this wednesday for school. yea, did i just mention sch? you've got me! i'm back to the damn school days. stuck my ass in lectures for 3 damn hours. shit ass. 3 damn hours and there goes my money.



well, i hope my lesson's in the morning 'cause i did went to appeal. another reason being, i know nuts about the school, so, nice nik will be leading me and show my his super long helping hand that day. so sweet. that's why i love him most among all, for the time being. LOL!



SO, NIK, I'LL SEE YOU AT THE SOMERSET MRT STATION AT 950AM OKAY. PROVIDED I CAN MAKE IT ON TIME! =)



and finally, my mr poon poon's house is SOLD! well, LKK's really sweet la! gonna give me 5% even though i quitted before poon poon's house was sold! sigh. it should be 15% one la. but it's okay. better than nothing. i'm dried up. i need cash cash cash right now! LKK, faster transfer me okay.