you are the dumb one. followed by a little stupid. and also silly.



quoted by: DLIM.

is everything written on my face? if it's isn't, why is everyone asking "WHY HAPPENED?" when they see me?

this is interesting...

i'm dumb!

你说的话在我心中生了根
爱得很深所以心很疼
记忆在我的心中翻滚
是不是每一个人
都像我一样笨

只怕再问对彼此都太残忍
我能感觉另外一个人
我等等笑容换成泪痕
爱在崩溃的时候比较真

太多疑问知道答案又如何
原来容忍不需要天份
只要爱错一个人

心痛比快乐更真实
爱为何这样的讽刺
我忘了这是第几次
一见你就无法坚持
孤独比拥抱更真实
爱让人失去了理智
会不会是我太自私
拒绝更寂寞的日子
放不开也看不见未来
难道这种不完美
才是爱情真实的样子


so, what is going on now? what is actually happening now? i just want a feasible explanations for all this. what is all this about? i feel like a dumb. i should have listened to simon. and so, all the promises are all GONE. thanks, for making me believe you. i'm like always getting excited for NOTHING.

i thought i was well prepared. yea, i guess so. i pushed away everything. i do my best to fulfil what is required. how dumb.

illusions, good-bye. see ya when you have made up your mind to return.

i don't know why. but i always feel real good when i'm out with jena.

i'm so so sick now! =( lost my voice. my eye is red. fever is gettting better though. i was fortunate, i got people to bring me go see doctor yesterday. if not, i wonder what will i become today.

seriously, i'm still thinking if i should attend it. jena and simon agreed that i should go.

simon is conflicting me. should i take his advises or should i go my way? 怎么说, i know him longer than him what. 怎么办?!

i wanna watch MR.BEAN!

there are pretty unexpected and unpredictable thing going on. no one knows what will happened to the 10 years down the road.

neither did i ever have the thoughts of knowing simon once again after 12 years.

suprisingly, i was introduced to simon when i was 7. being young and having a dead grandma beside me, i didn't give a damn to his appearance. yea, i gotta know him on my grandma's funeral. cool isn't it. 12 years ago, i din even bother to take a look at him. and now, 12 years later, everything changed so much. simon and i had become friends. not longer the thinkings of age-does-matters thoughts.

i used to think that mixing around with the older ones might be difficult of me as the topics they are having are not what i can a accomodate. it's was so wrong! look at what's happening now, i got hell lots of friends whole are so much older as me and as old as 42 which is 23 difference in age!



next week, please wait for me, i'm coming. if i'm going to watch the match, i shall take some pictures. but where the hell is padang?!

HELLO DAVIDSON! THANKS FOR PASSING ME YOUR SICKNESS. =) i'm so sick now.

i went out with d today. it's a shopping day for us but we din buy much(NOTHING) though we got a whole bag of money. =/ i like going out with d cos we really talked alot about our lives and stuffs. if anyone wanna know my secrets, go and bid him. he got a whole brain of my secrets. but don't kill him alright.

i headed down to cine to meet up with simon. we had dinner at this wang xin or xin wang hong kong cafe. the food isn't that bad and still kinda worth. but the employees don't really know how to speak english. they are all the foreigners from china. you can't expect me to speak my damn funny chinese language with them right? they will laugh! so, simon did everything. one thing i like going out with simon is he tells me about life, kinda open up me to see further stuffs in a situation. he made me realised that i have not grown up as in the things that i have seen are just tiny bits. the problems i have are just minor ones. but for one of my situation, he gave me real advises which i think i should take note of and he teaches me some stuffs. somehow, i know what i'm suppose to do. alright, we went to watch haunted school. i was grabbing his arm that weigh about 10kg. damn heavy. but the movie is kinda stupid.



i'm sorry tat i lied. but i just don't want you people to make unwanted thinkings.

simon is really scaring me. ARGH! damn it. he should at least give me some hope and not conflicting me. i was sleeping in class today, yes, first lesson and i'm sleeping, and i dreamt of what simon had told me. totally freaked out.

i, seriously don't know what is going on now, until the answer is out. when will that ever be? when i'm drunk? but fuck, what i have done is real obvious, stop pretending please!

maybe tml will be a better day. maybe i'm thinking too much. i'm having this real serious PMS currently, it's so obvious that norman is complaining. perhaps that is why i'm thinking so much and getting annoyed easily.



the next date.

it's so sweet for the two guys who came to accompany go shopping though it's was really late when they reached and i hardly can shop for anything. BUT! i still appreciate everything you both have done. THANKS SO MUCH, DUDE! oh yea, they brought me to this place, to look at some cars. those stickers ones. alright, what is so funny about stickers? cos the moment i said that, both of them were laughing. =(

eugene was telling me stories about the haunted house at punggol MRT station. cos he's an agent. so he knows stuffs about houses and so on. i was totally freaked up and i screamed in the car. =/ the next moment, i turned to norman and said "send me up later." he told me that many went missing when they go into the house. like those grass cutter and some policemen too. isn't it freaky? maybe someone might just wanna go try it.

TITLE: WHITE LIES. *opps.

seriously, is there any cures at mos? it's like everytime we go there, so many things will happen. it's like always having the same thing happening. twice, i was with the same group at mos, almost the same thingy is recurring. everyone is like FUCKs!

i was with my 2 sisters, MY BOSS-simon, justin, tommy, alex and christina's so called "dear dear." while waiting for MR. ANDREW to sign us in, there is this group of caucasians, they came up to ask about directions. and one of the caucasian came up to me and sat right beside me. as in shoulder to shoulder. at first, i was like what the fuck is he gonna do, as i was about to move myself away, he turned and i saw him. WOAH! he is so so HANDSOME! just like those celebrities. so, he held my hands up and......

i was kinda wacky yesterday. BOSS seems to be my punch bag. simon is always my dance partner whenever we happened to club. but this time, he initiate to dance with me. so, you know, when sober and sober got together..... he told me something while we were dancing. but i pretended to fool around about the topic. and i tried avoiding eyes contacts and same to justin. damn simon! always wanna bully me. i like having simon around whenever we go party. cos he is so so fun. and he really party. and for justin, i think he really had a real fun partying with us cos he got the chance to dance the 3 of us(girls). no choice. we wanna give me a fun night out, cos he's going in to sit for don't know how many months or years after this tuesday. so, BYE BYE! =(



things are getting pretty screwed up now.



and for today, i went NEW ASIA BAR! 72-LEVEL! you know, i was having phobia for heights. so, i gotta take some time to adapt to the environment. no on was at the member level which was 72. it was like gerald have reserved the whole level. and when i did so,

he was the sponser.

it's was half eaten when i finally realised "hey! we have not take any photos." i'll regret if i didn't. just like what happened at MOS.

it's was on of the BEST!

this was how high it was.

it's 72!

can you see the SALMON?!

this was the menu.

HELLO!

MOS and DRAGONFLY, wait for me. i'll be there real soon! =)

i so gonna miss syaf. she sucha sweetie. i got 2 and a half days of laughers with here! mostly, we were laughing at the guys and the customers. yesterday, there was this lady, she ask me:

LADY: what should i use to paste these fake nails on my nails?
ME: you can use nail tabs or glue?
LADY: glue? you mean elephant glue?

i turned away when i heard the words 'elephant glue.' but i manage to explain to her which type of glue she should use. i told syaf and she like laughing madly at the lady when she left. it's like why would you wanna use elephant glue on your nails? it's like do you really need to stick those fake nails so firm to your nails?

becuase of this whole joke, i laughed the whole day. eugene and norman came to pick me up after work for dinner(supper) and i just can't stop thinking about the joke. they couldn't take it somehow. they were there "elephant glue only what. what is so funny about it?" to be true, initially, i was laughing about the glue thingy but after that i was laughing at eugene's laughers. =/ somehow, they manage to shut me up by telling me ghost stuffs.

and today, syaf and i were like laughing at EVERYTHING. the tiko uncles. the smack that guys. the guys who waved at us from 4 level to 1st. and the last laughter i had with here for the week was this.

the problem here is, why does he have to open his legs so wide?

we were laughing like fucks man. angela thinks we were mad.

it's another amazing thingy that i can wake up at this time to blog. first, i went to work in the morning. next, i went to partyworld. then, i headed for a moive. finally, i went to amber 21. so, i reached home at 7 but claiming to my mum, it was 6.

there were seriously a lot of drama at amber 21. handcuffs, pushings, laughters, heart to heart talk, knowing new people and almost some fights which we manage to maintain the situations. should i say it was a fun day yesterday or should i claim that it's another fucking day out. you see, the plans was to meet at amber 21 and we'll head down to drangonfly at 3 for R'n'B. so, amber was filled with all the people i know. everyone there knows that i can't wait for 3am to arrived and shake my ass off the dance floor. they knew i was very keen. but hot-tempers, they just couldn't control themselves so, drama with police and got handcuffs. seeing that situation, i know my hopes are all down the drain. i'm not blaming them. they are lucky. cos dragonfly was having spot check, so can't headed down. no choice, gotta stuck my ass at amber.

i got to know a few more people. mian hao(mian mian), vincent and chee kok. they are so damn funny. i think vincent is kinda cute. =/ when the drama was going on, they were there taking care of me. i swear i was damn scared. i thought botak might just come straight to me and kill me. what do you expect, out with real gangters. i decided not to care much about them and sing song. after the song, mian mian was there: "WOOOOO, ABC sing not bad ah."

alright, serious stuffs now. i told you zillions of time, it should be a secret between me and you and you are not allow to tell adeline. but fuck, how many times do you have to leak out the secret? and why must you tell sunny? it's really has nothing to do with sunny. what more, it's a secret. you know it, when you tell sunny something, it's like the whole fucking drangonfly will knows about it. in future, how am i going to go drangonfly with my friends? surely he will ask people to look out for me right? because the fucking moment i stepped into dragonfly, he will knows! i know you are trying to protect me. like for norman, seriously, you don't have to go straight to him and ask him to send me home safely and shit. cos he definitely will. it's like asking stupid questions. i'm fucking 19 already, do you really have to do these? like if i go dragonfly, i wanna have fun, if you ask people to keep looking out for me, fuck, how am i going to have fun? just like at amber yesterday, i just gave you some signs and you annouced it. so, the whole amber knows la. where's your fucking brains?! do you have brains? you are making things worse for me. you think it's helping, you think it's for my own good. but all i have to say, SORRY, I FUCKING DON'T APPRECIATE ANYTHING YOU HAVE DONE FOR ME SO FAR. it's seriously not helping. if one fine day, because for what you say and i done for good, sorry, i think we should stop talking. please, i beg you, go have some brains. shan't comment about the desmond thingy, you just go reflect about yourself.



people see it, they can hear it, they can feel it, still, why you don't.

the thing here is COUNT the NUMBER OF PEOPLE.

yea, so just count.

4 aunts missing.

8 people missing in this picture of grandchildren.

2 brother missing

how many is missing?

this is extra. I WANNA COMPLAIN ABOUT THIS! why the youngest always have priority?

why can she get the cake first?!

so, have you counted how many people are there? there are 2 women missing in the family pic. actually, there are more missing, but i simply can't remember how many cousins i have. I HAVE TO MANY TO REMEMBER. so rounded up, there should be around 50. just my grandmas and granddad, and it's turned up to such HUGE family tree.

i did something amusing today. it's an unbelievable act. after that, i was like "what the fuck, was that me talking?" so, ya.

i hope everything will not turn to dust. on the other hand, i hope things will come to an end. see the emo issue here?

what if....
there's this bag A that you were always yearning for. no matter how expensive, you will just fight your way to get it. however when starving yourself to save enough money, you happened to come across another bag B which is very easy-to-bring-out type. you planned to forget about getting bag A and just concentrate on saving your money to get bag B. however, whenever you are heading to get bag B, bag A caught your eyes again. see the dilemma situation here?

it's irritating, it's annoying, everyone hate this feelings. so, many will suggest to get BOTH bags. the question is how long am i suppose to save enough for both bags? yes, i can buy either one first. what if i buy B and regret, and prefer bag A? yes, i can save money again to get bag A. what if it's out of stock? it's never gonna come back!

see it. i guess it's time for me to chill.

i swear i'm not gonna step into Long John Silver ANYMORE! ANGRY man!





it's another illusion after illusions.

Q: what is Chinese New Year for?
HIS ANS: to get more ang ba.
FACTS: GATHERING

HE to HIS DAD: i never take money from you, i only take from ah ma.

SITUATION: mother's health is deteriorating and she has to reply on the oxygen tank at home. the oxygen has been used up and HIS aunt asked him to change the tank.
HIS REPLY: later then change, i play computer first.
*his aunt scolded him. without any choice, he dragged himself into the room to change.*
*his mother took out her inhaler and used all her strength and shout*
MOTHER: by the time you change, i'm dead.
this is totally fucking shit.

HE TO HIS AUNT
HE: why your son taste like getting worse already? girlfriend all like worse already.
AUNT: then your girlfriend can make it not?
HE: can! 100% can.
FATHER TO HIM
FATHER: i brought a lot of drink. 5 min later come down and help me carry some up.
HIM: okay.
*15 min passed, he never turn up*

DURING GATHERINGS
HIM: wah! you all playing games ah? i go down and meet my friends.
HIM TO FATHER
HIM: pa, i go out awhile.
FATHER: come back early ok.
*he reached home at 3am*


i think this is enough to comdemn him.

it not we no longer dote on you. let me ask you, if someone from love and dote on you so much have hurt you, moreover, he is one of you family member, would you still wanna talk to him and treat him as good as before?

okay, i was too paranoid. i admit. but i'm sure it will happen. not now maybe; someday later.

for the first time of so many days, i felt sleepy. it's something amazing cos i have not experience such stuff for days and weeks. there's a possibility it's because of the beam lights in the ktv which causes me to feel sleepy in the ktv as well including the freezing air con there. or maybe it's because 10 cent voice made me so. LOL! i was just kidding. 10 cent's voice is more suitable for rock songs. more man you see. he din get to take photo. i wanna take photo with him leh. one fine day, i'll get him to take some with me and it's a MUST! well, still, k session for 2 is still the best. no one to fight over the mic!

is that a warning again? never once was i given a feasible reason or explaination. pretending to be preoccupied or adsent minded now? or pretending to forget my existence? i thought everything was going on pretty well. and that day.......we....... how can it happened so fast again?! AGAIN!

i have done my part. if you still prefer to continue avoiding and decieving yourself, fine, i have nothing to say. if you choose to withhold, sorry, i'm running out of time. things are changing now. once they made the decision, i'm sorry, i'm not gonna look back.

so now, my messed up life is about to end. which is a good thingy, however, i'm not even happy. everything that was done was a glimpse of hope for me. somehow, i was given the hope and it was banished by the same person. the fun thing about my messed up life is i have not even shed any tears. maybe it's because i experienced hell the pervious time, or am i just too tired? maybe after ending this post, after thinking what have i done wrong(which i don't think i did), i'm gonna breakdown. i did all i could. i did what i was told.

WHY? i have always been asking myself. WHY! i'm 19 already! i'm not any lil girl anymore. but WHY?

i'm not feeling fine. i so do not. i can't sleep but i eat alot. drinking seems to be the best way for me. FRIDAY! i shall call simon and ask later. i know it's unhealthy to drink and get drunk. i can't resist. i love the feeling alot. how i wish i get drunk and i screw everything out, i get i'll feel even better. it will be better if i get drunk everyday so i can fall asleep faster and i don't have to keep asking myself why and start seeking for answers.

i think i'm too free and that will lead me to thinking of stupid issuses. so, hopefully when work starts, i'll be better and it will be my turn to forget his existence. i'm looking forward working!


emo and breakdown session in a moment.

醉了吧反正清醒更断肠

无理去原谅你被叛

算了吧反正有你更孤独

你不会知道遗忘有多难





给你的心不要你还 痛不要你偿

陪你走过一段七情六欲全都品尝

爱你的苦不要你扛

泪不要你挡七情六欲打翻

笑著哭哭著笑去想你的模样





走了吗走到那都一样

你不肯搬出我心上断了吗断了

见面想不断

为何我总是为难我的慌

I SAW THIS AT YI TING'S BLOG AND IT'S SO TEMPTING THAT I CAN'T RESIST MYSELF TO SNATCH IT!

People born in the Year of the Rabbit are articulate, talented, and ambitious. They are virtuous, reserved, and have excellent taste. Rabbit people are admired, trusted, and are often financially lucky. They are fond of gossip but are tactful and generally kind. Rabbit people seldom lose their temper. They are clever at business and being conscientious, never back out of a contract. They would make good gamblers for they have the uncanny gift of choosing the right thing. However, they seldom gamble, as they are conservative and wise. They are most compatible with those born in the years of the Sheep, Pig, and Dog.

i have lost; to myself.


i'm so so so tired! eversince the eve of chinese new year, or rather eversince the start of my exams, when did i ever have enough of sleep? yes, i'm lacking of sleeps. the problem here is i can't sleep till 3 or 4am. am i suffering from insomnia? i really think i need sleeping pills. seems that most of the people around are taking it. yea, due to late nights out. i'm down. i'm sick along with people around me. cos of late nights, everyone is lacking of sleeps and all falling sick. but no one seems to care a single shit about it. this moment we complain we are so damn sick and so on and we can't go out and stuffs, the next moment, we will be searching for people and "hey! tonight dragonfly? mos?"

i don't mind being sick. i wanna get sick. i wanna have a real rest. i hope i can sleep all the way so that i can stop myself from messing up my life every single day. every morning, the first thing that came to my mind is "fuck! i lost!" knowing that i the same protocol everyday will still lead me to nothing, i proceed.

2 days in chalet, i have serious mood swings. partly because i'm pmsing and the other is about my messed up life! but i'm glad my sharingmate is there to listen and give me advise and accompanied me. even though my mate's situation isn't any better than me, he manage to smile so much. perhaps, he's a guy, he is still able to accept the fact. so far, i think only mate know the whole situation about me. tml it will be yi ting's turn. he gave me advises. but still, i hate to believe it. somehow or rather, we conclude that no matter what, still we will have that mini hope there. hoping someday, things will just go our way. thanks mate, for caring.

oh yea, I WANNA COMPLAIN! it's very stupid to have blankets in the chalet. what's the point of having blankets when the are so many holes. isn't it suppose that blanket should keep a person warm and not cold? i was shrivering the whole night covering the chalet's blanket. thank d, he gave me his jacket. yes, i felt better after that for the upper part of my body only. =/

i'm feeling fat now. supper after supper. i'm dead. time to go into my usual diet plan.



that day, was a day that i have longing for. i thank you for making part of it come true and making the other part into shit. you knew it. admit it. everyone felt it. even i did not make it obvious, they felt it still. they asked. but i denied; still.

i think i should be the one blaming myself for messing up my own life. thank you, myself!

and so, i had a lot of fun yesterday though i din really get to dance.

cloud nice's boss asked if i wanna work at his pub! duh! of cos reject right?

i hate it when eugene called me mei mei! i'm 19 already leh. still mei mei!

norman helped me drink alot at cloud nice cos i kept lossing the game. anyway, it's beer. i don't like.

but at dragonfly, they open bottle!! of cos is drink till siao right?

i was real sleepy when the lights are on. i just slept in the van. JUST SLEEP! who cares about imagine. sleep! norman was sitting beside me and he hit me twice don't think i don't know! but still i gotta thank his for taking care of me the whole night.



sorry, no photos!

damn sian la. i wanna club leh. but tml like no one going. have is have la. but i scare not use to the group. cos dinner is with norman and he said after that go club. club with him? a bit funny. cos adeline not going. and chirstina! say tml comfirm comfirm, deal deal, deal till say see first. argh! only hope is adeline. just pray that desmond allows her to go so that i'll get EVERYTHING FREE again. =D so, now, i shall go and rest, wait for 730 to come and give norman a morning call. give morning call also good. got free dinner. woah! envy me, ENVY ME people. LOL! just kidding. all this free stuffs will never be everlasting. when things get a into a longer period, they will found out everything. so, if can, try to use all the advantages before they are all gone in a day!

the stupidest dog!

WEDNESDAY! i can smell martel now! i can! i can hear them calling me! but i still got panda eyes leh. how to go chiong like that?! if i go today, i can't go on friday. if i wanna go on friday, i have 2 days to act like a good girl in front of my parents. =/ i know i have been going home late recently and my parents are kinda unhappy. but i don't understand. it's not like i go out till 3 4 plus right? it's just around 12 plus when i got home. they are very weird too. i can go club till 6am but i can't go out till 12 plus. a little bit wrong right? sigh.


i'm waiting for simon to inform me about tonight's plans.


at times, i really don't know what is going wrong. everything i did, have you ever apperciate? if you never, why bother to ask for more? i guess the time has passed. the times when i have gone totally mad about you have passed. maybe you are trying to save this shit or am i thinking too much? if you are not, why do you still have to search for me the other day just to tell me that? why do you bother to give in to me? why bother to listen? why bother to make some effort? i have given you so many clues, but why, only now you realize? why bother to care when i think it is a little useless now? can you somehow, try to react faster? why aren't things going my way? i always wanted to see you so much yet, you just disappeared straight. when i don't want, you appeared shaking your ass right in front of me. wanna play mind games with me? I'M IN IT! it's my turn to start the ball rowing, and you sit back and guess. i'm not gonna lose.


btw, my name is regina, gina, regi or nana. i'm not gi na or ki na. thanks.

was it me? or was it you? maybe the time has passed.


just reached home from meeting christina, gerald and 10 cent. i'm really glad that christina and 10 cent can get along well. i guess i was thinking too much about having a quiet atmosphere. so, it turned up real good! 10 cent and i had most of the things FREE! i'm not a cheapo. they are willing to pay. i didn't force. dinner free and drinking free. we had swensen for dinner and we headed to waiting bar after that. damn sian la. nothing much to do there. but 10 cent sang a song. not bad. all i did there was drinking. i just don't wanna go home early. I GOT NOTHING TO DO AT HOME! duh! so, 10 cent, still not so bad to go out with me right? only gotta pay for oil.


I MUST REMEMBER TO TIE MY HAIR THE NEXT TIME!


the ride was fun. but it almost scare the living shit outta me!

so, does that means that you are officially back? does that mean that whatever you have said are jokes? so, should i believe you?


anyway, i just came back from watching norbit. damn stupid but i don't know why 10 cent can laugh throughout the whole movie. damn disgusting la. perhaps i'm too tired today that's why i can't really get the whole meaning. a little slow somehow. duh!


yeah yeah! 10 cent said if i got nothing to do can go rounding! peace!

opps! i forgot to take photo with ALVIN! duh!

once again, i was drunk. it was ah meng's birthday yesterday. we celebrated it at momo. i don't really like momo. just feel that there's something wrong over there after my last visit. i felt so cool when simon signed us in. cos we were clinging on his arms when we walked in the entrance. like some function and people at the entrance was looking at us.

intially, we thought of heading mos after momo. but it was later cancel. and so, i drank and drank there with ah meng and this guy. oh ya! there's this crazy guy in our group. he went up to the pole to dance and i dropped myself on the floor and laugh. gosh man! it's like a freak dancing. ah meng said he admire that crazy guy courage cos he doesn't dare to go up and dance but the crazy one dare. i think his words are some kind of sacasm.

there's this girl in the club that keep talking to me. she neither my friend nor my friend's friend. she just kept talking to me till i can't dance cos she was so close to me. i din really get to dance la! dance floor was packed and there this pervert there who can to touch my leg! so, i only got to dance with simon. i love dancing with simon. hahas.

i left the club at 3 plus. cos andrew came early to pick us up. the moment i went up the car, ah cai was like asking: "so how? drunk today?" i turned and he say:"yes, you are." i kept repeating"NONONO!" my whole mind was mos. i think i kinda pissed them off with the mos thingy. i don't know what i said. but christina told me that i talked none stop and my voice was very loud followed by walking like a snake.

oh ya! before i left momo, i gave simon a kiss. it's so fun to club with them!

and the 10 cent! always faking me! so angry la.

fuck this world!

HAHAHAHAHAHA! the world is so funny and everyone is so silly. fuck man!

went mos yesterday. I WAS DRUNK! nice. i had fun at the club dancing with christina, adeline, simon and alvin. whatever it is, my leg is so tiring still. anyway, i'm going zouk tonight! weet. ALL FOR FREE AGAIN!

everything is gone is a phone call. everything! how should i put it? i get whole of the whole situation and i understand what everything meant. but after later, i got something again. being responsible for the first time. searching for me again. should i thank you? or should i......

sometimes, i think that what d had suggested me to do i pretty good suggestions. i wanted to do that but i'm just afraid.

i am SO ANGRY SO ANGRY SO ANGRY! i can't even cook a proper meal for my sister! damn.


i shan't be blogging anyway. i'm having exam tml. but i think somehow, i can manage to memorize everything by tonight. so less things to memorize la. my whole mind is only filled with scenes at drangonfly. can't wait for tml night to come! yea yea. i'll be staying over at my cousin's place till sunday. tml will be a busy day for me. i gotta go cut my fringe after school and buy some stuffs, rush home before 5, keep the house clean before leaving, packet my things and by 6, i gotta leave my house if not my 3 mothers will nagging at me. =(


i think yesterday was a very memorable day. and it should also be stated as a memorable day in my history. you see, my sister can't go out cos she has homework. for me, i can't go out, cos i gotta study and i'm too tired. and suddenly, a suddenly sweet guy initiated to buy dinner for us! wooo~ it's a really shocking thing when my sister read the msg to me. and so, norman deliver the food to me. and it's FREE! =/ i feel kinda bad though. cos he has to work and he went home late the day before. but whatever it is, at least i got dinner to eat, if not my 4 mothers will smack me for not giving my sister anything to eat.


and so, who will be MR. NICEY today?

FUN FAIR!

i'm like having another 3 mothers now! when reach home i gotta call 3 of them and same goes to my sister. argh! it's like i'm so restricted in doing my things. i know they are worry. i know it's their job to check on us. i'm not complaining. whereas, i feel so loved. really. so many caring for us. they call to check on us but it's a fine thingy for me. cos they are real worried about us. THIS IS THE FIRST TIME FOR US you see. i felt that in this situation, i'm VERY VERY VERY responsible for the things my sister and i did. if there's any mistake, i'm responsible. so, i'm trying very hard to not make any mistake. i have to brain wash my sister to prevent us from quarrelling in case she gets stubborn and insist that she doesn't wanna do the housework. i got not much time to do the housework. i gotta study. but i'll try to learn to wash and hang the clothings and maybe try my very best to cook something edible for my sister. i'm like the head of the house now. so, i gotta check everything VERY carefully before i go out and so on. IT IS VERY TROUBLESOME! argh!


i went studying earlier on. bill sent me home which i think it is a mistake. cos the moment i stepped in to my house and changed my clothings, they called and asked me to meet them at hougang. WE ARE GOING TO THE FUN FAIR you see. i met norman, desmond and adeline first. i think i gave norman a shocked. so fun la. i tried this ride and it made me go so sick after that. i told i was going to die. it's not about the spining but the heights! i have phobia for height and it never seem to get better! but i really feel better after the ride. cos i shout my lungs out! i rest myself in the middle of the field. i'm like a jelly! i can't walk! desmond was there helping me and stuff. glad i didn't vomit. but norman is sweet, he initiated to buy mineral water for me. FIRST TIME! should i name it as a memorable day too? =D i met my sister later on. she played the kiddy rides. let's all laugh together! HAHAHAHA! nah la. she has to accompany my lil cousin. she wouldn't dare to try out the more matured rides. later on, they all agreed to come my place but ended up, only des and adeline came. cos norman didn't dig his ears today. he agreed to come to my place but he heard something else. NICE! but it's okays. he's my part-time bf now. so, he will buy dinner for me for a week till they return! WAHAHAHA! and he will have to bring me go clubbing and dance with me. and he will have to treat me sushi and ben & jerry ice-cream. and he will also bring me go riding. and he will also have to buy alot of presents for me. damn. i'm like so greedy.


i'm going dragonfly this friday again! yeah yeah! be happy for me! anyway, i'm sleeping in my parents' room with my sis now. nice bed. so cool. i like it man! oh ya! i just gave me mum a shock of her life. alright, that's all for the day. I LOVE TODAY! though i somehow DISLIKE IT!

FORMAL

INFORMAL

wah lau, what a picture.

alright, tevin, that's stupid enough.

this is the reason why i am so playful.

AGAIN?! so ugly la.

will all the men please stand aside?

DRAGONFLY

it's been 6 years since i last took a pic with him! anyway, he's my new BF!

went dragonfly yesterday. i like the place alot but i only got to dance for about half an hour. =(

i went there with ALOT ALOT and ALOT of guys. this is the first time i went clubbing with SO MANY guys. real alot la. there were only 3 girls in the whole group-me, adeline and christina. i got introduced to many guys but i only remember only, simon, kelly, sunny, kelvin, ah mao, guo liang, lizard, fatty and louis. yup, that's all when there was like around 20 guys there. i think i drank alot last night but i'm not drank! and so, we drank and drank, the guys kept paying and paying. basically, everything including entrance fee and supper was free. evening going home was free. weet! i saw bill there. he was singing in the ktv room. he's voice is so fucking NICE!

it was 12 when reached the club but i only got to dance at 3 plus. that the time when there was r&b. the past 3 hours was TECHNO! yucks. i learned how to play five ten. as you know, first timer always make mistakes and i made ALOT OF SILLY MISTAKES that made the whole group laughed at me. louis has STM i guess, he kept forgetting others names expect mine. =) but he's damn siao la. everytime shout at me "GINA!" and i would shout back "WHAT!" maybe the group thinks that i can click well with him therefore adeline asked him to dance with me. argh! he was like taking advantage of me. damn. so, i told him, if he wants to dance with me, DON'T TOUCH ME! but again and again, he broke that agreement, so, i asked simon and adeline to protect me. so, i went to dance with someone else who doesn't touch me. =/ adeline and christina are very protective. they were like so fierce to the guys who wanted to know me. kinda shocked i should say.

fun things doesn't last. we got information that there are police around so, we left the club. actually we don't really have to leave. a) we don't want our IC to be check. b) one person predicted that there will be fights later. c) he had taken medicine*. so, no choice, to protect him and us, we gotta leave. he told adeline that he had not taken the medicine but i do believe that he did. the symtoms were all the same as those addicts. no point lying.

we headed for prata and adeline said the si ah pui like me la. cos he helped me with the menu, fan me when i'm feeling hot and talked to me so sweetly. YUCKS! anyway, i almost had an accident yesterday when guo liang sent me home. if it really happened, i think i'll be very seriously injured now cos i din put on the seatbelt and he was driving at a very fast speed. so, i'm blessed! you should be lucky to see me blogging!

i really don't understand the need for him to change his hairstyle while he's still in school. PURPOSELY! everytime doing those things that my youngest uncle dislike. when the fuck will he ever get to understand?! when man?! just by cutting 2 lines on his head, he wasted 10 bucks and he said "cheap what." fuck shit. just 2 ugly lines that doesn't suits him and his school, costed 10 BUCKS! damn! why can't he just save the money and spend it on something better? it's not like his family is REAL RICH. his dad business is still unstable and he thinks that his dad is rich and so on. the worst thing was third uncle comment that his new hairstyle is very fashionable. kee yong and i was like "same people, same pattern, agree the same thing."

sigh~ youngest uncle asked me to talk to him cos youngest uncle believe that when i'm there to talk to him, somehow, he might change. i agreed. BUT HOW THE FUCK AM I GOING TO TALK TO HIM WHEN EVERY SINGLE SHIT I TOLD HIM HE JUST PRETEND TO BE LISTENING?! i wanna help him. i really want to. i can't find the right time somehow. there's always people surrounding me. no choice, i'm famous. =/ if he's staying in my place, at least i can somehow talk to him in the night. i planned everything. but i still feel that it's still useless. once, i told him alot of stuff. i bring in topics like his mother, how much have he disappoint her even when she was waiting for her leaving time. somehow, he cried or maybe just some tears. he kinda changed the next day but his fucking AH BENG friends have so much influence in him!

if he wanna act like so damn ah beng, FINE! but bring back the good grades! damn!

oh yeah. 3rd uncle came for the dinner today. i was praying damn hard for them to come. cos the family memebers are getting lesser. sigh. i was damn pissed off with my 3rd aunt. the moment she reached, BLACK FACE. WTF. it's not like my grandmother didn't wanna help her when she was having fights with my uncle. grandma already had her unsolved problems and worries. so, she just sat there like some inspector, looking at my mum and grandma preparing the food. "hey! you got some damn bloody hands and legs can't you just get your ass off the chair and contribute something? WE SO DO NOT OWE YOU ANYTHING!" every year, she just relaxing without helping. nice. last times, there were youngest aunt to help up. now, she gone, and though there were less people now, at least help la! and, my 3rd uncle, the damn ah beng pattern never even change a single bit. always instructing people to help him do stuffs. i don't know what to say about them. THEY JUST DON'T APRECIATE EVERYTHING WE HAD DONE FOR THEM!
what the hell is going on?!

anyway, i just got to know that there's some kind of mistakes in my family's surname.

alright you see, my grandfather's sister's surname is KOH.
my grandfather's surname is KHOR.
my great grandfather's brother's surname is KOR.

overall, we are family, blood related and we have different surnames. COOL MAN!

yeah yeah! it's almost done! my voice is almost BACK! I CAN EAT COOKIES TML! peace!

sick sick sick, so sick!

sigh. i'm still so sick. cyn is like 2 more days away and i'm still not at any point of recovering. argh! perhaps it was the baked rice that i ate yesterday that caused my voice not to have any improvement. screw man! i can't eat ba kua and cookies this year new already la.

anyway, yesterday was the first time i went out in the afternoon and reached home during midnight. mostly, if i really wanna stay up till late, i'll leave home around evening time. i was real tired when i reached home but certain issues kept me awake and it's getting so yucky. YUCKS! damn man!

weet!

i had fun today!

watched 2 movies. epic movie and the law movie.



that's all!

VS

VICTORIA SECRET FASHION SHOW WAS JUST SO "WOW!" * weeet! *

there's more pictures actually. you can try this webby: http://theblemish.com/2006/11/victorias-secret-fashion-show-2006

[JEN: this is specially for you!]

yeah yeah! i passed!! pass pass pass!

went out with ade.

met a STM mixed blood guy







no pictures today. cos ade was very busy doing her last minutes shopping! so sad. =C

what's the point of asking me if i regret?
what's the point of turning back now?
what's the point of rescuing the whole situation?
what the point of asking me how i feel when you have already made your final decision?


yes, i am, very affected by this. i'm very sad. but there's no tears which i find there's something weird about it. perhaps, i'm sick and tired of all this shit. i just need some time to sort things out and i'll be fine

you don't have to treat me this way, cos you are at fault too. that's the thing; you always like to push all the blames and mistakes to me.


why not? let's continue our relationship as friends.

a second of happiness.

ARGH! i injure my leg!!! anyway, i had fun gossiping today.



we were all so decent........ intially.....




so, i started doing some cute stuffs.... and....




LOOK!



OH MY GOD! i'm wondering will i get kill exposing these photos.



and i laughed all over....

LUO ZHI XIANG! SIGH!

sigh. DISAPPOINTED, DISAPPOINTMENT. why is LZX staying in SG for only 3 days. he's shedule is so tight now and ah girl jie jie said there's not much chances for us to meet him cos he has to do alot of stuffs in SG. the only thing she can help is to tell us which hotel he will be staying and we go there and see him. (what a stupid idea.) i mean it's really stupid to wait for him at his hotel lobby. mad right. so, i'm not putting high hopes in meeting him. sigh! i'm just so affected by this. IT'S MY DREAM you know. and it can't be fulfill.

saw dan dan today from a mirror refection. i got so excited and i just turned over and hugged him.(sorry jen i couldn't resist cos it's really been long since i last saw him) after that, i think back, hey! what if it wasn't jordan and someone alike and i just turn over and hug? bless, it was really dan dan. so great to see him but he seems so dead and looking real old now. we only got 3 stations to catch up yet we manage to catch up quite alot. hopefully, i'll be able to meet him up for lunch or dinner soon.

meet my sweethearts today - michelle and gracie. so excited to see them. the problem is michelle doesn't wanna take photos with me. =( d can really click fast with michelle and gracie man! this moment i introduced them and the next moment, they we there bullying each other. cool isn't it. initally, i scare either parties might be left out but from the whole situation, i'm totally relieve. i think i really do a good deed today. you know, there's this old lady always sitting along the pathway from scotts to far east selling tissues, you know? yea, i kinda pity her. it's like hardly someone will buy tissue from her and i told d and he agreed! so, we planned that if we return back later, if she's still there, we will both share 2 bucks and give it to her w/o taking the tissues. however, i felt that not taking anything from her might be an insult to her so, at least we take 1 or 2 packets. and we did what we had planned. but d did more than me. i really took pity of that old lady. she almost there everyday. don't she have children to support her? what have the younger generations become? if i see her there again, i'll try to help her as much as i can. it's just 2 bucks. but when i really got the money, i guess i'll give her more.

anyway, i dyed my hair and they said i look alike mixed blood which is something i feel very cool about myself. WTF! I LOVE MY NEW HAIR COLOUR! weeeeeeeeeeeeet!



turn back please!

memorable day

this is crap anyway.

today is a memorable day beacuse it's my first time stepping into ART FRIEND with d, michelle and gracie.

and it is also a memorable day for i don't know what thing la. forget already!

actually, there's more photos to be uploaded. those i had with ting and her friends. but i'll do it tml!

PHOTOS time!

just bombed the toliet!

after so long, i'm finally gonna meet yi ting with another 2 people tml. WOOO~ we're gonna take a whole albums of photos i guess.

melissa said i'm like an ah lian.
tommy said i'm playful.

i don't that which part of me that makes that ah lian impression in melissa. i so not. the problem is i behave so well in school. maybe she meant i'm playful too? i will never disagree with people who has the playful impression of me. i love to play. any games, any fun activities, any things that are happening, i will totally love it, so, count me in. i love disturbing people. to conclude this shit, i'm just playful and not any gangsta. maybe i just simply overuse some vulgarities. or maybe it's because.... i don't know la. i'm just a good girl!


i don't know what's wrong with my dad these days. he has been initiating to eat at some restaurants when we are out as a family. guess mum was kinda surprise when dad initiated yesterday. QUICK! JOIN IN THE FUN OF BEING SURPRISE AND SHOCK. my mum, sis and i were there asking my dad "daddy, you are not kidding right? really? so good? never blufff? you strike lottery? why u cut your hair already then so good?" anyway, he said we were too noisy and asked us to shut up. DOTS. unbelievable act of my daddy. perhaps, he realised that he should spend more money like me to save the economy. =x oh! we went cafe cartel.

though i have swear that i'm so not gonna dye my hair DIY but i had no other choice. i'm being forced! my mum told me that either i get my hair cut, dye and highlight at a salon or i do it DIY so that i can buy my spec and she will pay for my tiff&co. necklaces and earings and i can buy another set of clothing or another pair of shoes. being very smart, i taken the second deal which seems more appealing. =) in another words, i'm being forced. blah blah blah.

oh yeah, i have been staying in punggol for like 3 years only and my dad is gonna renovate the kitchen! i will never step into the kitchen to cook when the renovation is done. 'cos i don't know how to stand in the new position to cook. pity my mum. but i'm happy for my family because we might be able see a bright future ahead. hopefully, when daddy goes to thailand this year, he will be able to make up his mind. so, i really can see a clear future in me. LOL. never mind if you all don't understand. cos it doesn't meant to be understood. i'm cute right.

speaking about thailand. SIGH! i miss song sak. can't get to see the handsome policeman this year. i jwanna see his shiny as mirror boots. i want him to bring me go learn shooting. shooting as in gun shooting. then, i can whole and fire a real gun. he promised me last year that he will being me go if i'm going thailand this year. nvm, there's always another year. daddy said he's gonna ask song sak if he remembers. JEN! i think you wanna go too right. REAL GUN!

oh ya! LUO ZHI XIANG is coming sg. i'm very excited and nervous. cos i might get a close up of him and even talk to him. cos ah girl's friend is luo zhi xiang friend. but i have been thinking, if i really get to see him, what should i say? come to think, it's kinda stupid so, i think i'm not going. but thinking again, if i don't go this time, when will i get the chance again? it's like a once in a life time thing. MY FAV. IDOL you know. i can get to talk to him. get his e-mail. befriend with him. take thousands of photos with him. laugh at his funny actions live. see his sing and dance live. get him to sign all his 4 albums for me. the HUGE problem here is, I'M SO SHY. LOL! anyway, ah girl jie jie haven comfirm this whole shit with me yet, so, i shan't get myself to be too excited. sigh. i just can't stop myself from fantasizing the whole situation. HAHAHAHAHAHA! i'm going crazy.

WEET!

OLE OLE OLE. singapore won the asean football. kinda dislike the way the thais play the game. just so sick. boo~ boo~ get a life and have some sportmanship. just don't understand why do they have to play so rough. yucks!?


my mum said i'm acting like a mad lady, 'cos i kept jumping around when the last whistle was blown. like the previous game, thai vs sg, i did the same thing too. oh, and the game when malaysia vs sg, i did that too. my mum was like what's the point of being so happy? the money doesn't goes to me. =/

so, SINGAPORE WON THE ASEAN FOOTBALL LA!



actually, i'm wondering, why am i so interested in soccer these days? hmmm....

woot! mask! try it!

irrtated, annoyed because your pimples just seem to be too stubborn to get rid off? you may wanna try this out.


things needed:
1 aleo vera plant.
1 egg.

directions:
cut 5cm from the aleo vera plant.
cut them into cudes.
separate the egg yoke and the egg white.
throw away the egg yoke and add the egg white into the aleo vera cudes.


that's it! start applying it on your face till it drys up. your face may feel very tight when it drys up but it's okay. while washing, it may feel a little itchy too. no worries. it's okay too. apply it every 2 twice a week. it reduces winkles too! what are you waiting for? get you ass moving!

my happy ending

kinda got influence by d today. the song is still whirling in my mind.



So much for my happy ending
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...

Let's talk this over
It's not like we're dead
Was it something I did?
Was it something You said?
Don't leave me hanging
In a city so dead
Held up up so high

On such a breakable thread

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

You were everything,everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it

And all the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
Oh oh,
oh oh, oh oh...

You've got your dumb friends
I know what they say
They tell you I'm difficult
But so are they
But they don't know me
Do they even know you?
All the things you hide from me
All the shit that you do
You were all the things
I thought I knew
And I thought we could be



It's nice to know you were there
Thanks for acting like you cared
And making me feel like
I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done

AAAAHAHAHAHA! i caught DIXION and TOMMY reading my blog! gees. i'm clever. leave your footprint la! aiyo. =D

no pls. i hate mind games!

FINALLY, it's february! gees.


i have been given a new nick name by norman. now, he start calling me "it". how nice. he said something like this to me "wishing blah blah blah for ITS test." so now, i'm not her's, her, herself. i'm it, itself, its. nice. before this 3 of us were in the S gang. he is sunshine, i'm summer and ah girl is spring. so, he changed ah girl's to shit. it became sunshine, summer and shit. soon, he changed mine to alien. giving all sort of excuses that i must be named alien. FINE. then, he changed to ET. cool. cos he said my fingers are like 3 fingers. and so, now i'm labelled as IT.

it's better now, he added something in so, it sounds better and cuter. LOL!


after all, singapore won another match! i wanna watch the next match live leh. =/




after so long i'm finally given in for once and being compromised which is what i always wished for. i kept telling myself, one fine day, one fine day. and blink! it happened. though i wasn't any big thing that i was given in, all i'm waiting was that word that i have always been waiting for. it's not any big word anyway. it's just something which that someone will never say or rarely say. like once in a blue moon that kind.